Silent Whisper of Roses
by Disturbedvixen
Summary: (KuramaxBotan!Kurama's POV)Kurama crushes on Botan, but can't find the right time to tell her. When the time comes, he finds Botan likes someone else. Will he commit suicide over this? Or will it get worse? {COMPLETE!}
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own YuYu Hakusho! Okay?  Please review this!

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Perhaps this is more than I can take.  Living through the adolescent stages of life as a human is enough.  It isn't merely the fact of being a human teenager but as my more intimate friends know, I am a demon, the one the lower class demons know as Youko Kurama.  Hiding this fact and keeping the humans in my surrounding safe from fear and things of their nightmares is what makes my adolescence harder.  To make things slightly worse, I have to hide this from my mother and most mothers have a tendency to know things.  I have a feeling that my mother knows something about me is stranger than most, but what is it that she can do?  I don't want her to know my life and past.  It could make anyone go insane, including me.

                "Suichi?"

I snap out of my thoughts to look down at my mother upon the hospital bed.  She has become ill yet again while I had to work along with Yusuke.  His job as a Spirit Detective is tedious to me and it interferes with both our lives but his life is nowhere near as busy as mine.  I couldn't help her from being ill.  Was this yet another fault of mine?  If I were to be with he, would she be stronger?  I don't know.  I can't answer this.

                "Suichi, you must go home," my mother said to me.  She's feverish.  I can tell that she can barely see me because of her illness. "Please, you have school tomorrow, don't you?  I know that you're busy with soccer and everything else.

                "Yes, Mother, but I want to make certain that you will be better."

                "I'll be fine.  The doctors will take care of me.  Now go.  You can visit me tomorrow.  Your friends wouldn't want you to be hanging around an old woman like me rather than spending time with them."

                "Mother, you aren't old," I said wearily.  Infact, compared to me, she was very young.  I am 300 years old at most.  I have stopped counting several decades ago.  In appearance, I look 15.  My mother was only 40.  She was only a child compared to me, yet I still loved her.  

                "Nonsense.  It's getting dark."

                "Yes, Mother."  I kissed her lightly on her forehead and took my book bag from it's place on the floor.  I left after watching the nurse reattach another IV to my mother.

~~~~

I walked home, enjoying the frigid air.  The fall season was almost over and winter was soon to arrive.  I walked past Yusuke's house and stopped, thinking about what he would be doing at a time like this.  Botan stood in front of the house with Yusuke, Kuwabara and Keiko.  Yusuke through a handful of leaves at Botan, scowling over something she must have said.  I stared at her.  She shook her head, removing most of the leaves.  Why did I feel a sudden urge to brush the remaining few away?  I felt her gaze upon me and all my senses seemed to numb.

                "Kurama?  What are you doing?  You can't have _just now_ left school!" she said in amazement.

                "Your such a book worm.  Do something fun, like beating brats up for money."

Typical Yusuke-ism.  Botan walked towards me with a smile on her face.  "Don't worry about them.  I'll walk home with you.  I'm getting tired of Yusuke being such an immature idiot," she said in a voice rather louder than she would usually speak.

                "Yeah, well you ain't gotta tell everyone that I can't beat up girls!  What'll they think?  I _like_ scaring people!" Yusuke growled.  Keiko rolled her eyes.  It was a typical human gesture to show that someone said something mundane.  

                "Grow up, Yusuke.  Botan's right.  You need to act your age," Keiko said.

                "Yeah, like you care?" Yusuke cackled.  It was common knowledge that the two of them had become closer in the past month or so.  He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her.  Keiko giggled but didn't move.

                "Come on, Kurama," Botan replied in an obviously irritated voice.  She took my arm and pulled me toward the direction of my home.  I felt something electrical at her touch.  It felt so natural for her to be this close to me.  I couldn't explain it.

In the next five minutes or so, as she began to talk about what Koenma had been complaining about, I realized that I cared for this cheerful being beyond than a friend. I wanted her to be part of my present, and my future.  


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Kurama's POV incase no one noticed.  I don't own anything!**

"Oh, Kurama, can you do me a favor?" Botan asked me just before I entered my home.

            "Of course.  What is it?" I replied.

            "I have all this paperwork to do for Reikai and Koenma. Can you help me with some of it? There's something on demons I have to do but I don't know very much about some of them. Can you help?"

            "Yes," I answered without stopping to think.  This would be a good opportunity to be alone with her and talk to her.

            "Great.  Can you stop by Genkai's Temple around ten tonight? Yukina will be at the party that Yusuke's throwing for Kuwabara."

            "Aren't you going?"

A barely noticeable frown appeared on her lips.  She bowed her head and clasped her hands together at her waist, letting go of my arm.  "I can't.  I wanted to but with all this work I have to do. . ." she sighed and looked up at the sky. "Besides, I wasn't invited."

            "That's absurd! Why didn't they invite you?"

            "I don't know.  You _will_ be there tomorrow, right?"  She looked at me with such a look in her eyes that I couldn't resist the offer if I had the desire to. 

            "Yes, I will."

She smiled.  It was a brilliant smile that lit up her features.  She squeezed my hand lightly.  "Thank you.  Good night."

            "The same to you."

I watched her walk off.  It would be pleasant to be alone with her for a night.  It would be at least an hour for me to see her in her own light.  There would be no one around to distract me from her. 

The next day at school was tedious, as usual.  I had soccer practice to go to.  Practice was longer than it normally was.  My teammates didn't understand the point of trying to use skill rather than force when handling the ball.  I was forced to demonstrate what was to be expected.

I went to the hospital to visit my mother.  It had become a habit after a week or two with her being in there.  

            "Suichi, I was wondering if you had gone home already."  She greeted me with a smile that was growing weaker as days passed.  I have a feeling that she was growing worse rather than better.

            "I wouldn't go home without seeing you." I took my usual seat and rearranged the flowers in the vase at her bedside.  "How are you today?"

            "Fine, I guess.  The doctors still aren't able to tell what I caught."  She gave me a sad grin.  "What is it with me catching undiscovered diseases?"

            "Perhaps Kamisama has done it to improve your strengths.  With each sickness you recover from, it gives you more strength against it when you next have it."

She took my hand.  Once again, my eyes went to the seep scars on her arms where she had protected me from glass when I was only six.

            "Suichi, dear, how do you know all these things? Sometimes I'm afraid you'll be smarter than me as you get older," she said.

I only smiled at her. How was I to tell her how I knew such things? I didn't want her vision of a good son to be marred by my true nature. I owed it to her to hide it from her.

~~=^.^=~~

"Kurama."

The low whisper awakened me before the speaker shook my shoulders.  I opened my eyes and found Hiei by me.  "Hiei, what is it?" I asked.

            "You fell asleep in this place.  Botan's upset, you know.  You promised to come over and help her with her paperwork, remember?  It's nearly midnight."

I groaned and slumped into my seat.  _Falling asleep is the perfect way to express your infatuation,_ I thought to myself sarcastically.

            "I told her that you had a rough day and she believed me. I don't think she's too angry at you.  Pity," he said with a smirk. He looked at my mother's sleeping form and his smirk grew wider.  "Interesting. . .very interesting."

            "What is it?" I sat up quickly.  He didn't find human affairs to be 'interesting' unless killing them was involved.

            "She knows."  He laughed lightly.  "Boy, does she know."

            "What does she know?"

            "About her 'too-perfect-to-be-real' Suichi.  She knows you're inhuman."

For a second, I was sure my heart had stopped.  Mother? This. . .human knew what so little others did? Did I not hide myself well enough?

            "Everything about you was obvious and only a mother's careful eye could tell."  For the first time, I noted that his Jagan eye was out in the open.

            "Hiei. . ." I began. I was going to warn him of the many humans that stayed here but my curiosity was getting out of control.

            "The way you walk is too graceful and perfect for a teenager who's just going through growing pains. And your eyes. . .they hide something.  She can see when she looks into them that you find her below you.  It hurts her to see that."

I stared at my mother.

            "Hn. She's pretty smart for a human," Hiei congratulated.  "Maybe that's part of the reason why you didn't become so stupid while you live as a human."

            "She's a mother."  I stood up.  "Wait, what's that?"

            Hiei looked around, his Jagan eye flashing.  "That girl—Botan—something's happening to her." His hands clenched into fists.  "Something's got Yukina too. Come on! We have to go! _Now!_"

            I followed him out of the hospital, knowing that his Jagan would lead the way.


	3. Chapter 3

I ran, unable to keep up with Hiei's god-surpassing speed.  What was happening?  I was desperate to know if Botan was hurt in anyway.  "Hiei!" I called.  "What is it?!"

He stopped for only a moment and gave me a strange look as if to torment me with the fact that I knew not of which he spoke.  "Hurry up.  Run faster, or did you living as a human make you run like one?"  He darted off, stopping for a second or two so I could see where he was.

I ran on and stopped at the point where Hiei stood, leaning casually against the tree.  "Go in," he said in his monotone.  

I looked at the house.  It was Yusuke's house.  The lights were off.  I wasn't surprised.  Yusuke would probably be asleep at this time. "Elaborate," I said to Hiei.

"Go in," he repeated.  "What do you need?  Open the door!"

I did as he said.  For a moment I was blinded as the lights turned on.  My eyes grew accustomed to the light and I saw the friends that I made standing there. "What is this?" I asked, turning to Hiei who wore a smirk upon his face.  He raised a hand and gestured at me.  I was pushed further into the house.  He had used his telepathic powers.

"Happy birthday!" they said in unison.

"My birthday?" I murmured.  "How did you know about this?"  Since I had lived for over a decade, I did little to celebrate my birthday.  The most I did was a moment or so of quite reflection to think over the past.  I had even asked my mother to do nothing for my birthday except for a dinner alone with her to tell each other of our thoughts and things like that.  Since my mother was ill, I dared not worry her with it.

"How wouldn't we know about it?" Yusuke said.  "All we had to do was log on the high school's Website, enter the school codes and we could get into the teacher's database to get it."

"I highly doubt that."

"All we did was ask Lord Koenma," Botan said.  "Since you're a demon who has permission to live in Ningenkai, we keep accounts on you.  We could even tell everyone of what you did as a baby or if you killed anyone, where anyone else knew or not."  She smiled at me.  "Happy birthday."

I smiled back at her, feeling slightly light-headed from hearing that she cared enough to go through Koenma to find out when my birthday was.

"So, fox boy, how old are ya?" Kuwabara asked.  "Four hundred?"

"Not quite.  In human years, I'm now 16.  As Youko, I'm three hundred and two…at least."

"That's great.  Can we eat the cake now?"

"You made me a cake?"

"I did," Yukina said in her shy voice.  She blushed.  "I learned how to make human foods.  I hope that the cake isn't too sweet."

"I'm sure it'll be perfect."

"We have to have you open presents!" Botan said.  She pushed me towards the table set in the living room with packages.  "Open them.  We want to know what Yusuke got you."

I opened them.  Botan had given me a package of Makai flower seeds.  

"I didn't know what to get.  I don't even know if these plants will live here.  They need blood instead of water," she said nervously.

"Hiei can provide the blood, I'm positive of it."

"Hn."  Hiei sat on the couch and watched as Kuwabara tried to boast to Yukina.

Yusuke had gotten me a comb.  He shrugged.  "Your hair goes everywhere.  Since you don't slick it down like I do, I figured you could do something with it."

I thanked him, not knowing whether he was insulting me or not.  Yukina had gotten me a green sweater that seemed to match the color of my eyes.  She blushed when I opened it.  Kuwabara gave me porcelain figurine of a cat.  That wasn't surprising.  Hiei gave me a stuffed Ningenkai fox.  He had killed it, cleaned the insides and stuffed it.  He went to such pains to work on it.

"Thank you, Hiei."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered and waved it off.

The party went well.  Kuwabara became ill from eating so much cake.  Yukina constantly moved around, refilling everyone's cups of soda.  Hiei was acting normal, wanting nothing to do with anyone or anything.

"Hiei, you have to eat cake!  It's good! Yukina made it, try it for her sake," Botan urged.  She sat beside him handing him a Styrofoam plate with a slice of Yukina's chocolate cake.  I felt a twinge of jealousy, but it was quickly forgotten as everyone laughed at Hiei's stubborn refusal of the human sweet.

"It's not that bad, is it?" Yukina said in a worried tone.

"It's great, babe," Kuwabara said, reaching out to hug her.

Hiei scowled.  "Fine. I'll eat it."  He took the plate and took a bite of it.  He choked.  "What the hell is this?!"

"It's chocolate cake.  You don't like it?" Yusuke asked, amazed.

"It's. . .interesting."  Without a word, Hiei ate the rest and seemed to be in a reasonably good mood the rest of the night. 

Dawn was coming up.  It was a lucky thing that it was the weekend to have thrown a midnight party. 

"I gotta sleep.  I don't run on cake all day," Kuwabara said.  He hugged Yukina.  "It was great, though, babe.  See you later today!"

"Good by, Kazume."

"Kurama, I got something to say to you," Hiei said to me, gripping my arm.

I stopped and looked at Botan.  She wanted to say something to me and I was eager to know what. "What is it?"

"Away from everyone else."  He dragged me outside and a foot or so away from the house and behind a tree. 

"What must you say that is so important for you not to say it in front of everyone?" I asked.

"I didn't want to embarrass anyone.  I don't want this passed around the town."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Note that this is still in Kurama's POV.  Oh, and thank you for all the reviews! Flames are still accepted!

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I waited with bated breath for Hiei to complete his sentence.  What could possibly make Hiei appear this uncomfortable?  He took a deep breath.

"Kurama, I have something to confess."

"I understand that.  What is it?  You can tell me."  It was obviously something of great importance to him.  I was partially afraid of what it could be for it to pain Hiei this much.

"Yukina . . ." he began slowly.

"What?  Is she ill?"

He frowned.  "She must be for her to feel such a weak human emotion, but she's a female.  I guess it's normal."  He gave me a calculating look.  "At least it's you and not Kuwabara.  That makes me feel better."

"Tell me what it is!" I said, getting slightly carried away.  He was making it sound like she was dying.  

"She has something for you."

At first I didn't understand what he meant.  "Didn't she already give me a gift?" 

"You're not stupid, are you?!  Listen to me!"  He grabbed my shoulders as well as he could, considering the fact that I was a foot taller than him.  "Yukina _fancies_ you! She likes you!" He released me and glared at me.

My eyes widened.  I felt my heart stop.  "Why would you inform me of something like this?  It's absurd!" I murmured.  Why would she feel this way towards me?

"I'm serious, she likes you.  I don't joke around."

He had a point . . . "How do you know?"

He crossed his arms.  "I'm a telepath.  And also, she blushes every time you even look at her."  He scowled.  "It's disgusting.  Love is a human emotion!  It allows for a weak point to be revealed."

"Love isn't a weakness.  It shows that you have a heart.  Even you are capable of loving someone.  Do you not love Yukina?"

"That's different," he snapped at me.  "Of course I love her, but she's related to me. She's my sister and the only link of my past I have."  

"Why did you tell me all this?" I asked slowly, afraid of the outcome.

"Do something nice for her.  I don't know, what do humans do?"

"You want me to take her out on a date," I said flatly.  "I can't."

"Why not?!"

"I-I just can't."  I couldn't tell him that it was the avid adoration for Botan that couldn't allow me to do it.

"You have to do it."

"But, Hiei, you must understand—"

"I understand what you feel, but just do the date thing once for her.  For me.  And for her.  And mostly for you, because if you don't, I will embarrass you in front of everyone.  Including _her_."  He spoke the word 'her', accenting it in a way to tease me.  He nodded towards Botan who was laughing at one of Yusuke's jokes.

"You wouldn't," I murmured.

"You know that I can and I will.  I can't fight you to the death and win, but I can embarrass you.  I can torture Kuwabara to help. He's an idiot, he'll do it willingly."

"Fine, I will do it."

"Good.  Go tell her the good news."

"Won't she be suspicious of it?"

"It's dawn. You're birthday was yesterday.  She'll be too tired to think that far. She'll be happy."  He looked at Yukina with a small smile.  It was a true smile—one that seemed to be reserved for only her. 

I sighed deeply and walked to the house.  Botan stopped and looked at Hiei and me.  "Where were you?" she asked.  Her voice was musical and so alluring . . .much like her eyes. 

"We were speaking of memories past," I replied quickly.  It pained me to lie to her as it did to lie to my mother, but telling her of what I was bullied into doing was going to leave my hopeful future with her ground into the dust without dignity.

"Oh."  She smiled at me.  "Have a nice day.  Oh, and happy birthday . . .even if it was an ago."  She hugged me briefly and flew away on her oar.

I looked after her, feeling my heart plummet to my stomach.  I went into the house to find Yukina wrapping the leftover cake.  "Oh, Kurama, would you like any more of this cake? I'm going to throw the rest of it away."

"No thank you. I'm still full from it."

She smiled and blushed.  She threw the rest of it away.

"Yukina, may I speak to you for a moment?"  I calmed my nerves.  I didn't want to do this.  Yukina was a wonderful person but I didn't want to give her false pretense, making her think that I deeply cared for her.

"Yes.  What is it?"  She wiped her hands off on a towel.

"Will you be busy this afternoon?" I asked her, putting my hands into my pockets to keep myself under control.

She blushed crimson again, obviously trying not to become too hopeful by the simple statement.  "N-no. Why?"

"Would you . . .could you possibly find time to spend time with me this afternoon?  We could watch a movie.  Whatever you want.  It can be your day to relax and have fun."

"That would be great!  Of course I'll come!  I'll come around three."  She paused.  "Is that okay?"

"I have soccer practice."  I smiled sadly.  "The pains of leading a human life."  She giggled.  "I'll get you by four.  I mean, if it's okay."

"It is."

"Great.  I'll see you then."  I gave her an awkward hug and turned to see if I could possibly get a few hours of sleep and visit my mother before I met with Yukina.  I sighed for the umpteenth time this morning.  I felt like cruel for imposing upon Yukina's gentle and shyly hopeful life.  It wasn't meant for me to do so.  I cared for Botan.  Little did I know that this was only a minor step to complicating my already complex life.  It was going to be far worse and many more people were going to hurt because of Hiei's simple demand for his sister's happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Remember, this is in Kurama's POV.**

**Thankee for the reviews! **

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I turned over in my bed for the umpteenth time to look at the clock sitting on my desk.  It was still far too early for me to get up to complete my daily acts and to visit my mother in the hospital.  I buried my face into my pillow and moaned quietly.  I was unable to sleep for more than half an hour because of what I had done.  Guilt was heavy on my conscious.  I was implying completely the wrong idea to Yukina.  Every time I thought about it, I cringed.  I got out of bed and went to the bathroom.  I filled the sink with cold water.  I splashed the water on my face, hoping that it would somehow eradicate the shame I felt or at least freeze it to a point where it would be of easy removal.

_Freeze? Yukina is an ice apparition._

I looked into the mirror and watched as the water dripped down my face and back into the porcelain sink. I looked terrible.  My human mother once told me that she had only to look into my eyes to see what was ailing me.  My eyes spoke more than I physically did.  What if Yukina looked into my eyes and saw that which would wound her happiness?   I looked away from my reflection.  Why did I not argue my point to Hiei more strongly? I truly wanted Yukina to be happy, but now that I agreed to take her on a date, as the humans called it, there was only calamity in the end.  It would crush her to know the truth.

I bowed my head and emptied the sink of the cold water and dried my face. Perhaps I was being far too selfish and only thinking of myself. I went to my room.  I sat on the bed and stared thoughtfully at the rose vine that grew up the trellis that led to my window.  Carefully, I calculated the facts of what I had to do.  The plan I devised was rash and had many flaws, but I didn't want Yukina to be so terribly heartbroken that she was going to commit suicide or something just as serious. I would make her very content this afternoon, then if she gave any indication of wanting to go further in our supposed relationship, I would easily give her the truth of both Hiei and I wanting her happiness, but that I wanted to be only a comrade to her instead of a lover.  There was a chance that she took it the wrong way, but it was the only way.

~~~*

Soccer practice. It was hell in its own demonic light.  The practice itself was fine. Because I was a fox spirit, I enjoyed using skill.  It was the human females that bothered me.  It was almost as if they had a tracking device on me, making me an easy target for them to track.  I wanted nothing to do with them, but they chased me constantly.  It was maddening.  

After practice, I went by the hospital.  I walked down the long hallways and went into the room that had a sign that read "Minamino".  

My human mother was sitting up and drinking water from a glass.  It was wonderful to see her recovered more than yesterday's visit.  She looked towards me and smiled.  "Suichi, I was wondering when you'd come," she said.  Her voice was still rather hoarse.  She held an arm up, beckoning me to come to her.  

I did so and embraced her.  She kissed my cheek.  "How can your skin stay so soft at this age? It's amazing."  She stroked my cheek lightly.  "You make a woman feel so old, you evil child."

 I sat by her side on the bed.  I took her hand and squeezed it gently.  "You seem to be feeling much better, Mother."

"I do, but the doctors said that I had to stay for a few more nights just incase."  She frowned at the thought, then smiled again.  "It isn't so bad, with you to visit me.  You've helped me to heal."

I smiled at her.  I was very happy to see her well but my thoughts continued to drift back to Yukina.  I felt my mother's probing gaze.  "Dear, is something the matter?"

My thoughts returned to the present.  "No. Of course not."

"You seem more distracted than usually."  She was teasing me in a way, but just he same, she knew.

"I have a date with a girl and I'm nervous," I replied truthfully.  I was surprised by a hug.

"I was afraid that you'd never find a girlfriend.  Is she pretty?"

I sighed.  "She's beautiful." Yukina _was_ beautiful, but Botan. . .Botan was _beyond_ it.  There was no proper word to describe her.

"What time is the date?"

"Around four."

"Five more minutes.  Why don't you run along.  You'll make a better impression."

I had no choice but to go to Yukina.

~~~*

"Kurama, you're early!" Yukina looked cute in black pants with a light knit sweater that clung to her slim body.  The sweater was a faint shade of blue that made her hair seem to glimmer like silk.  Her hair was taken down from her usual hairstyle and was brushed straight.  Two small braided strands of hair on each side were tied to the back of her hair.  It left her bangs free to frame her face.  Her cheeks were pinked from blushing.  She looked very pretty indeed.

I mentally shook my head.  She _was_ pretty, but I cared for Botan.  I smiled weakly and offered her my arm.  She took it and blushed darker.  

"I was afraid that you weren't going to come," she said shyly.  "At first I thought it was just a dream."

"Where would you like to go?" I asked her, gently changing the subject.

"What do the humans do?  It would be nice to be normal."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I want to live normally and be accepted.  I can't be accepted in Makai because they just want my tear jewels to sell to the Black Market. I can't be accepted in Ningenkai because being able to freeze things isn't considered normal.  I can't be in Reikai because I'm not dead or an ogre."  She sighed sadly and touched the fabric of my shirt as she thought. 

I listened with silent consideration.  I didn't know that Yukina felt this way.  She always seemed so shy and thoughtful; always happy to just be with Hiei and the rest.  It never occurred to me that she felt this way.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what, Yukina?"

"Live in Ningenkai as a demon and human?"  She looked up at me, her eyes full of thoughtful sadness.  

"It's difficult to explain.  Youko is a shape-shifter so I was able to take a human body as my own.  It isn't as wonderful as you think it is.  I have to hide the fact that I'm a demon or a fox spirit.  When I get frustrated, my energy escapes and managed to manipulate plants to die or anything.  It isn't easy."  I blinked as I replayed what I just said. I had never told anyone any of this before.  I realized that I felt comfortable with her, but part of me knew that even if we knew one another's deepest secrets, I could never truly love her.  

I walked with her down the sidewalk.  Perhaps the date wouldn't turn out so bad.  Or maybe I was wrong. . .

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**A/N: I know it seems like Kurama is falling for Yukina but I PROMISE that it is a Kurama x Botan fic! PROMISE!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the reviews!  **

**Remember: Kurama's POV**

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The two of us went to the old, downtown park.  Very few people visited this park except during the cherry blossom festivals. We had the park to ourselves to talk more of ourselves.  Yukina was very easy to talk to.  None of the conversation topics were forced or embarrassing.  Well, some was a tad embarrassing, but it was easily laughed off.  We answered one another easily and casually. Yukina was obviously very nervous around me at first, but soon she became more comfortable.  I enjoyed being in her company.  She was very unlike human girls.  The females would be in my company and they would stare unceasingly.  Yukina, made me feel very relaxed and normal. I didn't feel like a freak of nature. 

 The afternoon seemed to brighten noticeably.  I felt nothing could go wrong this day.  

"I've been wondering of something," I said at length, listening to her melodic laughter at a reply I had made to her remark about my role as a 'perfect' child to my mother.  She nodded, allowing me to continue.  "Kuwabara has shown countless times that he is infatuated with you.  Why do you not care for him?"

She lowered her eyes to the grassy ground.  "At first I thought he was just doing all that to show off like most boys that age would do.  Then I saw that Kazume was only doing it around me.  He hugs me constantly.  I mean . . ." she sighed, searching for what she really meant.  "Kazume is a sweet person, honestly, but he doesn't give me space when I want it. I don't want to be rude and tell him to let me breath."  She raised her eyes and looked at me.  "Does that make me sound mean?" she asked quietly.

"No, it's perfectly natural."  I had half a mind to ask her why she would choose me over any one she could have chosen.  She was very attractive, and would be able to catch the attention of countless males.  Why choose me?  I kept my mouth closed, deciding that such a question was too personal.  

"Besides, Hiei wouldn't really let me be with Kazume. They argue too much.  I don't want my brother to argue with whoever I want to be with."  She blushed.  "I'm surprised he hasn't came swooping down on the two of us yet.  He doesn't seem to want me to be with anyone."

I opened my mouth a fraction to tell her the truth of it all, but something stopped me from revealing it. "It's a brotherly thing.  The older brother usually feels protective over his younger sister.  He wants to find the perfect person that you deserve and that deserves you."

Her brows wrinkled in thought.  "Does that mean that he thinks you're the perfect someone?  He's really strange sometimes."

I laughed.  I didn't deserve to be with Yukina.  My heart wasn't matched with hers.  She was too perfect for me.  Yes, there _were_ things troubling her, but I wasn't the right person to be the one to lift her burdens.  I would only hurt her with the lies I found myself telling my loved ones in order to protect them.  I couldn't deserve her kindness.

_Then what makes you feel that you deserve Botan?_

Such an awful voice, that was.  It was Youko speaking to me, taunting me.  Testing me to see if I could control his wild nature.  

_Go away and come again another day,_ I chanted in my thoughts.  _In fact, I prefer that you never come. You only hurt innocent people._

_You're hurting an innocent person now. She thinks that you love her.  You're playing with her heart, human.  _

_Leave me alone,_ I argued with myself stubbornly.  I bit my lower lip for a second.  As usual, Youko was right.  I _was_ playing with Yukina, but . . .it was for the best, right?  She only wanted to be happy . . .didn't she?  I pushed all thoughts away.  

"Suichi!  What good luck to find you here!"  A female's voice came.

I grimaced briefly at the mention of my human name.  Only humans used Suichi Minamino to call me.  Yukina looked at the girl then back at me.  The smallest of frowns appeared on her face.

"Suichi!" The girl said, smiling.  "Is it okay if you . . ." she trailed off and stared at Yukina.  Yukina stared back with a questioning glance at me.  The girl frowned.  "Oh, who's this?" she asked.

"It is a friend of mine," I began.

"A friend?" she repeated doubtfully.

"What is it? I was in the middle of something."

"I was wondering if you could come over and help me with the student council flyers.  My mom was baking cookies," she said, smiling.  She tossed her hair over her shoulder in a way that was supposed to make me feel attracted to her.  I was immune to the human 'hair toss'.  "Are you interested? You could drop this hussy and hang with me. We could chat, catch the new horror movie.  What do you say?"

I sensed Yukina bristle at being called a hussy.  She lowered her eyes a fraction of an inch, afraid that I was going to leave her for a self-conscious human.  I had no such idea to ruin a good afternoon with a human girl, ready to smother me with nonsense.  "No, I am not interested, sorry.  I am in the middle of a date.  If you do not mind, please leave me in peace.  I'm sure you can handle a few flyers, can you not?"  I said this all in a composed voice.  The girl reddened and stormed off.

Yukina blushed.  "Thanks for sticking up for me.  Who was that?"

I shook my head.  "A girl at school.  I cannot stand her."  I studied her embarrassed expression.  "Are you comfortable talking to me?  You seem distracted."

"The girl made me feel so bad, but it's not a big deal."  She smiled weakly at me.  "What would you like to do?"

"It is up to you."

"I don't know what we should do," she admitted.

"What about ice cream.  Have you ever had that?"

"What's that?"

I thought about the best way to describe it.  "I suppose you can call it sweet snow.  It's a human sweet—a frozen one."

"Will it be painful?" she asked curiously.

I laughed at the suggestion.  She blushed. "You're laughing at me."

"Yes," I confessed, still smiling at her.  "It isn't painful at all, except for something called a brain freeze."  She looked at me, horrified.  "No, you're brain isn't going to literally freeze. It's an expression."

"Okay, if you're sure."  She stood up.  I took her hand and led her to a well-known ice cream parlor called _Kakigori_, which was translated to mean snow cone . . .or shaved ice.

I went into the parlor and looked in disbelief at the amount of human girls sitting.  All eyes turned to face us.  I sat down in a booth, feeling my cheeks flush at the knowledge that human females would closely monitor every move I made.  It was embarrassing and uncomfortable.  Yukina seemed to be able to sense my discomfort and sat beside me, hoping to be able to ease it.

"Whadaya want?" a waiter asked, eying Yukina thoughtfully while handing us a menu with the day's special.  I ordered a sundae, allowing Yukina to choose the toppings.  The waiter returned shortly with two spoons.  I didn't feel hungry in the least.  There were too many eyes on me.  I felt over crowded.

The booth seemed to shrink and the corner I sat in seemed to wrap around me in a multicolored haze.  I closed my eyes and bowed my head, trying to focus on telling myself that it was only my imagination.  I was only mildly aware that my hands found the metal spoon and was bending it into an impossible angle.  My breath caught in my throat.

I felt gentle hands on my hair.  At first I shuddered at the touch.

_Your hair is damaged . . ._I could almost hear Karasu's voice and his hands, touching the strands of my hair, taunting me, teasing me . . ._ Save your fight for me?_

"Kurama, what's wrong?" Yukina's voice broke through the chain of memories.  

I opened my eyes.  Yukina looked so worried and frightened.  I had caused it.  "My greatest fear," I murmured slowly and quietly so the other humans wouldn't hear, "is being closed in.  I'm claustrophobic.  Not even my human mother knows this."  I smiled at her and closed my eyes to her gentle hands stroking my hair.  I took unexplained pleasure in her tender touch.

She smiled and moved closer to hug me.  "I never knew.  You never showed it."

"You can't blame me," I replied.  "If anyone knew, I'd be captured and thrown into a small box purposely to see how long I can withstand it."

She didn't remove her grip and continued to stroke my hair.  "Its okay, no one's here to throw you in a box.  I don't think."  She giggled and I smiled at the remark.

I gazed into her eyes and lost myself.  I couldn't resist the impulse to move closer to her.  The next moment, our lips met.  We both lost ourselves in the moment.  She responded shyly and gently.

"K-Kurama?" The divine voice of my most intimate desires broke the still moment.  

Botan. 

 I realized where I was and what I was doing. I broke away from Yukina, feeling my heart stop and the blood drain from my face.

Botan and my eyes met.  She blushed furiously.  "Oh, I'm sorry.  I wanted to speak to you, but I-I can wait."  She backed away and out of the doors.  I watched her run off.

I ran my hands through my hair in annoyed frustration.  _What have I done?  I lost myself to a human impulse. Now Yukina will be positive of my 'interest' of her and Botan will think that I care nothing for her._

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! I shouldn't have been so dense and weak! 

"Kurama?" Yukina murmured, touching my arm.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," I said quickly.  "Something came up."  I paid for the ice cream and left, leaving Yukina to be confused and bewildered. I had no will to explain myself.  I had thrown myself into a trap . . .a grave for my heart. I was so incredibly stupid! Curse it all.  Curse _me._

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**Hee hee hee, what's Kurama going to do now? Naughty fox!  I hope this is long enough.  It's like a whole page more than I usually write. **

**Pretty please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**Still Kurama's POV**

**I'm sorry about the last chapter, but I messed up somehow and put a Shaman king chapter there instead of the right one. Sorry for the mix up  and here's this chapter.  PLEASE FORGIVE ME!**

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I nearly got run over by oncoming traffic in my eagerness to reach Botan. Part of me told me to follow her, the rest of me told me to stay away.  My heart told me to go after her.  I had sensed that she needed something of me.

 I followed Botan's scent to the park and saw something unbelievably strange hidden behind the tree. Something that stung me very deeply.

Botan

And Hiei.

It didn't seem to be possible.  Botan _and_ Hiei? I should've seen it coming, but I doubted anyone thought it possible.  I backed further away.  Hiei was leaning against the tree awkwardly, his eyes closed.  Botan was nuzzled against him, her eyes closed as well.  One hand was on the back of his head.  The other clasped his hand.  Why in the world would Botan be crying while she and Hiei were kissing? I didn't stop to consider the possibilities.  

Botan turned, sensing my presence.  "Oh, Kurama.  I wanted to ask you something, but I didn't want to interrupt you and Yukina.  I came here and. . .I didn't mean to do this."  She looked sadly at Hiei.  "I wanted to go back and get you, but I didn't know what to do." She continued to cry.  "Can you do something?  Please?"

I shook my head.  "No. . ." I murmured.  It seemed to be all I could say.  I went off, not wanting to look back and see Hiei's face.  He had seemed so calm despite Botan's tears.

I went home.  I went into the bathroom and turned on the water.  Tears came to my eyes.  It felt childish to cry over something like this.  I didn't really believe I deserved her, did I? I felt so alone that I allowed the tears to fall.  I had realized something in the moment I found the two together.  I was lonely over the three hundred years I had lived.  It had never occurred to me until then.  I think I suffered a mental breakdown from what I had gone through. 

 Yes.  That was the only explanation for doing this.  I lost my mind.  It was almost sad to know that something so insignificant to the eyes had done this.  Makai wouldn't let me rest in peace if they had known that something so simple brought me to my death.

Botan and Hiei.  And Yukina was never going to trust me.  I knew I should have argued my point more strongly against Hiei.  I _knew_ it was going to come back to haunt me, but all I thought about was Botan.

Stupid me.

I filled the porcelain sink with warm water.  I pulled a rose out and flicked my wrist.  It turned into my signature rose whip.  As anyone knew, it could cut through any substance.  Flesh was only tissue paper to it.  I don't know what went through my mind as I allowed the thorns to rip across my wrists, bringing blood to fill in the large gashes. I plunged my hands in the water.  I had learned that warm water slowed the body from clotting the blood from escaping from cuts.  

My blood clouded the water.  The rose whip returned to its flower form as it fell from my hand.  Soon the water matched the blood red color of the petals.  I felt dizzy from the loss of blood.

Darkness.  It was beginning to get dark.  From my past, it was only ironic for me to end my own life.  Youko laughed in my ear.  He would be free to find another human body to possess, one that was strong enough to handle his power, but weak enough to be manipulated by his evil.

The last think I heard was Kuwabara's voice.  I laughed as I heard it.  Why would I hear Kuwabara's voice of all things?  It made no sense.  I didn't want it to make sense.  I didn't _care_ anymore.  I fell into the soothing darkness.  Falling . . .falling . . .

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Is this the end? Does the story end here or will there be a happy ending. Only reviews will tell! If you want it to end here without figuring out why Botan was crying, then it will be that way. Or will Kurama live?


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

Thanks for the reviews! A/N: Still Kurama's POV Okay, incase you read the last chapter and you're confused about everything REREAD IT! I fixed it.  Besides, you'll need to read it to know what answers are being answered in this chapter.  Come on, I know you wanna know all the answers !  

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I remembered feeling weak. And the darkness.  The darkness had felt perpetual and unfading.  Slowly, my memory came back to me.  I shouldn't be able to remember that I had felt weak.  Shouldn't I be gone? Shouldn't Botan be here to greet me and carry me to the next life?  Either I wasn't dead, or my soul had escaped the human core called Suichi Minamino and found another shell to hide into.  Maybe I have been resurrected to be something else other than a human who human girls found physically attractive.  Maybe I was a cockroach now.  

_Doubt that.  Highly doubt that,_ Youko replied, scoffing at how idiotic that thought was.  _Me? Youko, a cockroach.  Don't think so._

Youko was still here.   Obviously I hadn't died.  A portion of me felt disappointed.  It seemed that I was destined to remain living in this hellacious world.

"Shhh, he's asleep now.  Be quiet!  He needs to get rest to recover the lost blood."

That sounded like Botan's voice.  I sensed that she had been crying.  I decided that she was still crying over whatever it had been when I found her . . . and Hiei . . .urgh; I didn't want to think about that.  Now I remembered perfectly well.  She had caused me to temporarily lose my mind and _attempt_ to commit suicide.

Yes. _Attempt._ That was the right word because it didn't seem to work.  Unless my mind was still lost.

_You had a mind? Forgive me;  I hadn't found it yet,_ Youko wondered thoughtfully.

I frowned inwardly at the sound of his soft and goading voice.  I was beginning to become very annoyed at the sound of his voice in my mind.

"How's Yukina taking all this?" Hiei's voice asked, breaking me out of my annoyed thoughts at Youko.  "Is she still crying?"

"I don't know.  The last time I saw her was when Kuwabara carried Kurama's body here.  She asked some questions and left, crying.  I'm afraid she thinks Kurama is dead," Botan's voice answered.  I felt a hand on my forehead.  "Of course I can't really tell if he is or not. I don't have much experience and he feels so cold."  Her voice shook.

Hiei made a sound as if he were disappointed in himself for some reason.

"How's your head feeling?" Botan asked quickly.

"Hn."

"Okay. . .I'll just not ask then."  She laughed the melodic laugh of hers that had haunted my dreams.  

I felt a nagging in my mind.  I only heard Hiei and Botan's voice. Were the two the only one here with me?  It didn't sound right to me.

"But still," she continued, stopping abruptly.  "I don't know if he is dead or not.  Kuwabara told me he didn't sense much Spirit Energy left in him.  Maybe my radar's broke."

"Uh, Botan, Yukina's feeling a little better now," Kuwabara's gruff voice announced.

"That's a relief.  Could you do me a favor and tell me what you sense about Kurama?"

"Fox boy? Sure."  

I sensed Kuwabara walk closer.  "He's alive so don't sweat it.  He's just feeling pretty wimpy right now, eh Kurama?"  He hit my shoulder lightly.

Botan gasped.  "He's trying to sleep!"

"Oh, sorry."

I opened my eyes, meeting Kuwabara's.  "I wasn't asleep.  I was trying to think."

"Good to see you're alive. I hate seeing Yukina crying.  It gives me nightmares!" he remarked.

I smiled weakly at him, not knowing how to respond.  "Yukina was crying? About me?"

"Yeah! If you were my boyfriend, you know, if I was a girl, and I saw you all pale and limp with blood pouring from your arms, I'd be upset too!"

"I'm not Yukina's boyfriend," I murmured.

"But you make the cutest couple!" Botan replied earnestly.  Her sentence made me shiver in shame at myself.

Kuwabara wore the smallest of frowns.  "Come on, Kurama. Once a guy and a girl play tonsil hockey, you're practically engaged."

"We didn't . . .go that far," I exclaimed.

"Sure," he grumbled sarcastically.

"Botan, may I speak with you? Please?" I asked.  Botan nodded.  Kuwabara looked back at me and then at Botan.

"Alone," I corrected politely.

Hiei gave me a calculating look and left, followed by Kuwabara.

"Botan, I saw you and Hiei kissing," I began lamely.  "I saw you crying too, but I didn't understand it."

Botan stared at me.  "So this is what it was all about. I see."  She sighed. 

"Here's the story.  I _do_ love Hiei, but it wasn't really what you thought."

I looked at her, admiring her beauty, but feeling sad at hearing the fact that she cared for Hiei.  "Continue," I replied.

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Sorry! Cliffie! Review and I'll update! 


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

Thanks for the reviews! A/N: Still Kurama's POV 

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Botan looked as if the only thing she wanted now was to run from me and not answer my questions.  She sighed.  

"I was looking for you, okay?  I found you at the ice cream place with Yukina.  I saw you two kissing and I felt embarrassed that I ran up on the two of you like that.  I mean, what I was going to ask wasn't important enough to ruin your date."  She paused.  "You two looked cute together."

"What were you going to ask?" I interrupted.

"I was going to ask if you could somehow arrange Hiei and I to go to the movies together or something."  She blushed, which was unlike her, but still made her look beautiful.  "I wanted him to have good time and maybe, we could've gone out eventually.  The minute I saw you and Yukina, I went away."

I waited for her to continue.

"I felt a little disoriented when I went to the park.   Since there're hardly people there, I flew there on my oar.  I was bored.  I saw Hiei in the tree.  I felt a little bold and was going to go up to him to ask him myself.  You know that I've got a big mouth.    I flew up to him and scared him to death, I guess.  I called his name and he fell out of the tree." 

I raised an eyebrow. I could hardly believe that Hiei would fall out of a tree, but I doubted that Botan would lie.  "So why were you . . ."

"I'm getting to that, just listen.  I got to the ground and he wasn't moving. I think he had hit his head.  I could feel a bump on the back of his head.  He wasn't breathing either so I gave him the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation thing."  She focused her eyes on me.  "I wanted to go back and get you but if I didn't, something could happen to Hiei.  You came and I thought that Hiei would be okay.  Luckily, I knew just enough healing to revive him, but he's got a nasty cut on his head.  Anyway, you ran off and the next thing we all know, Kuwabara is carrying you, dripping with blood."

I stared at her.  Everything was all a simple misunderstanding gone too far.

"About Yukina . . .you told Kuwabara that you and Yukina weren't going out.  Why did you . . .kiss her?"

"I made a mistake.  I regret it, though.  I lost control of my emotions and went too far," I said softly.  I quickly changed the subject.  "Kuwabara found me?  What was he doing in my home?"

"He said that his cat was stuck in a tree.  He was hoping that you'd get it out for him.  Luckily he found you just in time."

"Oh.  Does Hiei know that you're fond of him?" 

"I don't know.  In a way, I'm scared that if everyone knew, I'd be teased about it forever.  What would Hiei do or say if he doesn't like me back?  It would kill me if he just stood there staring at me like I was stupid for even noticing him."  She ran her fingers through her hair.  "Do you know what I mean?  It sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"Nothing you say sounds stupid to me.  You could tell me that you want to fly around in a chicken suit and it wouldn't seem stupid coming from your mouth."

She smiled at me.  "You're always so sweet to me.  Thanks."

"It's nothing."  I paused, wondering what I should do.  "Should I try and get Hiei to take you to the movies?  Maybe the moving pictures on a flat screen would scare him."

Botan laughed.  "You can, but I like having this mystery to figure out.  What fun would anyone be if we knew everything about each other?  Especially Hiei."

"I suppose."

She stood up and arranged the pillow below my head.  "Now, I have things to do.  I have to do all these things for Koenma.  I'll leave Yukina with you to help fix up your wrists."  She touched the bandages on my arms.  "And tell her the truth.  The truth hurts, but lying is worse."

My heart thudded nervously against my ribcage.  I had nearly forgotten about it.  I knew that the moment was coming, but I didn't want it to be so soon.  I wasn't prepared for what I had to do.

Botan left.  Yukina came in.  Her hair was arranged in her usual style.

"Kurama?  I'm glad you're okay," she replied.  Her voice broke.  I hoped that she wouldn't start crying.

"Please don't cry," I said.  I sat up to lean against the wall.  I looked closer around the room.  This was Yusuke's house and Yusuke's futon.  Kuwabara must have carried me a pretty far distance.

Yukina sat beside me.  "I won't cry.  Give me your hands.  I need to put new bandages on."  She took my hands and unwrapped the bandages with practiced skill.  I winced as she unraveled the last layer.  My skin seemed to have healed a bit for the gauze to stick to my wound.  She looked up at me when I winced.

"Does it hurt much?"

"I've felt worse.  It's nothing," I said.  

She dabbed at my wounds with water.  I saw my wounds begin to bleed again.  The cuts were very deep, almost cutting to my bone.  She used her Spirit Energy to heal some of my cut.  Half of the cut knitted itself back together.  The blood dried away.  She tied new gauze around my wrists.  "I could heal it completely, but it would leave you with an ugly scar.  If I do it a bit at a time, the scar would barely be noticeable," she said softly.  She ran her fingers along the lines on my palms.  

I moved my hands quietly away from her and curled my fingers to cover my palm.  Our eyes met briefly.  I looked away, unable to look directly at her.

"Why did you leave all of a sudden when Botan came?" she asked suddenly.

"I can't really explain it . . ." I murmured.  In truth, I _couldn't_.  I could have stayed and figured everything out later, but once again, confused emotions ruined everything.  I was useless, wasn't I?

Yukina smiled weakly.  "Everyone was worried when Kazume came carrying you.  I can't tell you how happy I am that you're alive." She hugged me and kissed my cheek.  Her lips seemed to hover above mine, silently asking for permission to make contact. Her lips came closer.  I shrank away as her lips touched mine. 

I couldn't do this to her.  _Again._

She looked directly into my eyes, keeping me from looking away.  Her eyes burned with such intensity that I was reminded of Hiei's crimson eyes.  For a moment, I wondered if she was able to read minds as Hiei was.  _Don't be stupid.  She doesn't have a Jagan eye,_ I argued with myself.

"What's the real story, then?" she asked suddenly.  "I knew it was only a wonderful dream, but tell me the truth."

"The truth . . .the truth is this.  That night I went to ask you to go on a date with me, Hiei was the one who suggested it.  He wanted you to be happy.  I reasoned with him, but he insisted.  I didn't want you to believe that I was deeply infatuated with you.  I mean, don't take it the wrong way, I _do_ find you attractive and I like you, but I couldn't truly _love_ you."  I studied her expression, which didn't change.  "I'm sorry.  Can you take pity on me?"

Yukina breathed in an out, slowly.  "When we kissed, was that something Hiei _suggested_ or was that something you wanted to do to hurt me?"

"No, it wasn't that.  I got a little carried away.  Very few people knew the things I told you and I've been alone for such a long time that I lost control . . .and I kissed you."  I shook my head.  "It was wrong.  I'm sorry."

"I'll forgive you and I can't hate you, no matter how much I try.  I've tried to. You were always in perfect control.  I wanted to be more like you, but you went and lied to me.  Even though you lied, I can't hate you." She closed her eyes and lowered her hands.  "I don't know how to take this.  I-I'm going to go think for a while."  She stood and left abruptly.

I watched her leave.  I was glad, in a way, to have the weight off of my shoulders.  I was also glad that in my weak state, my mind couldn't focus completely on the subject to throw me into another suicidal frenzy.  Hiei walked in, arms crossed, and gauze wrapped around his head.  His Jagan showed under the line of gauze.  He glanced back out the door at Yukina.

"What did you do?" he asked, his voice was low and insinuating.

"I told her the truth about the date thing."

"Not _that_," he snarled in frustration.  "I meant your wrists.  What the hell did you do and why?"

"I misunderstood about what I _thought_ Botan and you were doing.  All the stress made me lose my mind and without really realizing it, I just—" I mimed a cutting action on my hands.  I shrugged weakly.

He gazed steadily at me.  "You're just weak hearted.  Why do I hang around you?"

I said nothing.  He looked away at me and felt the back of his head.  "Crazy woman!  Scared me out of my wits when I was trying to sleep!" he growled.

I grinned.  "I thought you didn't scare easily."

"I was _sleeping_!"

I laughed.  "Hiei, do you like her?"

"Botan?  I don't know.  She's okay to be around except her big mouth."

I bristled briefly at the insult.  "No, not just 'like' her, but like her more than just 'okay'."

He stared at me.  

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Review and I'll update!  I must be evil to have another cliffie.  You decide!  Does Hiei like Botan or not?  Tell me via review and I'll have another chappie up as soon as I know. 

P.S.  Okay, I've got this other fic called Secrets Behind Emerald Eyes.  If you don't mind, can you read it?  I hadn't gotten more than 2 reviews on it and I'm getting a little discouraged.  Please tell me if that fic sux so I can take it down if I have to.  

Thank you Miyako14 for reviewing that and just about all my other YuYu fics!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

Thanks for the reviews, but special thanks to these people for reading the last few sentences and helping to decide whether Hiei likes Botan or not! DarkAnimeChick 

**KuramaandHiei4ever**

**Kitykat (but not in any special order!)  Great ideas, but since I'm weird, I'm going to mix all three of your ideas into one! That way no one will feel left out!**

A/N: Still Kurama's POV 

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Hiei continued to stare at me, seeming to decide whether I was implying something or joking.  "What are you playing at?" he asked.  "What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it," I said, beginning to grow frustrated.  Unfortunately, my illness wasn't allowing me to keep my temper under control.  I only wanted to know whether he cared for Botan or not.  Now that I knew Botan didn't cared for me, part of me had resigned from being partially obsessed with her.

"No," Hiei said at last.

I hadn't expected that answer.  I had expected an embarrassed _yes_, but a no? "What?" I asked.

"No.  I don't like her; I don't _want_ to like her.  Remember that she was the one that sent Yusuke after us when you stole the Dark Artifacts? Besides," He paused, a faint red color creeping into his lightly tanned cheeks.  "She knocked me out of a tree.  What kind of woman would she be for me to like to have knocked me out of a tree?"

It was my turn to stare at him.  His logic made no sense to me, but it did to him.  It was true, Botan _had_ gotten Yusuke to trail us after I had stolen the dark artifacts, but it was of the past.  It was our fault. Our intentions weren't good.  If my mother hadn't fallen ill, I would have killed many innocent people.  My _human_ mother saved me.  I found her inferior to me, but still she had saved me from doing things that I would have regretted.  It was pure irony.

"Hiei, it was in the past.  What about _your_ past?  What if the girl you fell in love with didn't return your love because of the things you did in the past?"

He looked at me, a fire igniting in his crimson eyes.  I had opened a wound that he had carefully nursed to form a half healed scar.  "I have no past."  I doubt he could have spoken in a flatter tone.

"Yes you do. Everyone has a past.  You may not remember or you may not _want_ to remember, but there _was_ a past.  What you just said is part of the past. _You have a past._"

He shook his head, his raven hair moving with his motions.  "I don't care.  No girl would give a damn about me. If they did, they have to be out of their mind.  Tell me something: what kind of girl would want me? I was abandoned. That made act the way I do.  I'm an asshole."

I blinked involuntarily at the words.  It was understood that Hiei acted a little rough around the edges, but I had never considered Hiei to be . . .an _asshole_.

Hiei smirked.  "You know I'm one. Don't deny it.  No one could possible love me.  Now give your frail human body mind some rest and stop asking questions."  He left the room, the hem of his black cloak swishing soundlessly as he walked.

I slipped back under the covers.  I couldn't let this matter drop, but I didn't have much of a choice.  Everything counted on me staying alive.  My mother would be released from the hospital soon.  She didn't need to mourn over my death.  I had school as well.  I closed my eyes, willing my mind to be calm.  What was I truly thinking when I had slashed my wrists?  There was no gain to have actually gone through with it.

~~TWO DAYS LATER~~ 

"You're fully healed!" Botan chirped cheerfully.

"I am?" I asked doubtfully.  I still felt a little weak, but it might have been because of not being allowed to move from the bed.

"Not _completely_, but it was a lot better than two days ago.  If you weren't a fox demon, it would've taken you a week or two for you to heal."  She smiled happily.  "We even made you a Congratulations cake!"

I blinked.  "Cake?" I didn't feel like eating.  I hadn't eaten at all in the last day or so, but my appetite still hadn't returned.

"Well, there would've been a cake, but you know how teenagers are." She clapped a hand to her mouth.  "Oh, I forgot you were a teenager as a human! Sorry, I didn't mean to insult you!"

I lifted a hand.  "You didn't insult me. I understand what you meant."

"Kuwabara and Yusuke ate the cake.  They got in a fight over something completely stupid and got hungry afterwards." She spread her arms in the air in an 'oh well' gesture.

"What 'stupid' subject, if you don't mind?"

Botan paused and looked at me.  "Erm, Porn.  Don't ask me about _that_! You do know what that is, right? I don't want to explain it."

"Yes, I know what it is."

She raised an eyebrow.  "Really?  How?" 

I opened and closed my mouth to protest.  She laughed.  "I'm only joking!  It's a wonderful day, why not take a walk to enjoy it?"

I stood, carefully testing my weight to see if my legs would support me. I hadn't walked very much lately.  "W-would you escort me?  I doubt anyone else would feel comfortable around me," I murmured tentatively.  "If I were anyone, I wouldn't want to hang around someone who attempted suicide."

"Sure! Lord Koenma let me on my break.  Talking a walk would be fun!"

I couldn't describe how happy I felt.  I was grateful for it.  "Really?"

"Of course!  I want to talk to you."

I walked at a slow pace because I wasn't used to moving this much.  Botan didn't seem to mind in the least.  I felt a strange stirring in my heart in mind.  I reached for it and studied it.  Normally, being alone with Botan would have made me extremely happy, but now that it had happened, I felt nothing.  Perhaps the knowledge that she liked someone else caused me to push my love for her away.  Maybe . . .just _maybe_, I didn't love her anymore.  My heart thudded nervously.  It would have been dreadfully ironic to find out that Yukina was truly the one.

"Kurama . . ." Botan began, sounding a little uncomfortable.

I looked at her, watching the way the sun highlighted the features of her face.  I knew then that Botan _was_ the one, but I would never claim her as my own.  "Yes?"

"Remember that you said you'd ask Hiei if he did . . .you know. . .like me?" she toyed with the petals of a flower she had picked.  "And, and I said that it didn't matter?" She was being uncharacteristically nervous.  _Highly_ unlike her normally chatty self.

"Yes."  I wished I could've said something more imaginative.  

"Yes, well. . .I was thinking over it and. . ." she sighed.  "It _does_ matter to me.  I thought that it didn't but it does.  So can you. . .find out for me?"  She looked at me 

"I did," I blurted out.  

She gazed at me with wide eyes.  "Really?  W-what did he say?"

Me and my big mouth! What would I say to her? I didn't want to see her hurt as I had hurt Yukina, but the truth was important.  She had said so herself! Even so, she didn't need to be hurt over something like this.  Then again, I would've wanted to know if I were in her position. I should stop thinking too deeply on certain things . . .

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**Review and I'll update!**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything.  I would like to, but I don't. Thanks for the reviews! Remember, still Kurama's POV. 

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It seemed to take forever for me to debate over what I needed and didn't need to do. 

"Kurama, just tell me the truth.  I can take it," Botan insisted.  She looked at me so imploringly, that it stung.  She was desperate to know.  I, on the other hand, didn't want to tell her.  It would keep her away from me.  She would try to figure out a way to make Hiei agree to being with her, just as I had tried to formulate a way to keep her with me.

"I can't do that.  I'll tell you when the time is right.  Hiei is a little confused over everything.  I'll talk to him then.  Maybe the blow to his head knocked his senses out of line," I replied slowly.  Hiei must have had something wrong with him if he didn't see Botan the way I did.  She gets a little talkative sometimes, but with Hiei, that would be okay.  Hiei seems to enjoy listening rather than talking.

I noted with sad realization that Hiei and Botan would be happy together.  I would just be a worthless stone in their path.

I felt her look at me, trying to find the real reason why I didn't want to tell her.  "Kurama, that doesn't sound like you.  Please tell me what's wrong with you."

"What do you mean?" I hadn't expected for this to turn over.

"I mean _everything_.  None of this makes any sense and it doesn't sound anything like you.  It's like something has taken over your mind!"  She gripped my arm, nearly knocking me to the ground.  My balance was off because of the little usage of my legs in the past few days. "What's been going on in your mind?  Is it something that you go through living as a human?  Is it your mother?  What is it?"

"What hasn't sounded anything like me?" I asked.  I wasn't playing stupid; I was honestly confused.  I've been thinking normally, excluding the fact that I attempted suicide . . .right?

"Like Yukina.  At first it didn't seem so wrong.  Everyone tries to make her happy because she's such a nice person.  I didn't mind that.  You allowing Yukina to be in public with humans was okay.  We all know that she gets isolated as an ice apparition.  When I saw you kissing Yukina, it occurred to me that something was wrong.  I know you well enough, even if you _do_ keep a lot of things hidden.  I've seen your demon records. It's not like you.  You wouldn't do that in front of humans.  I know that a lot of human girls like you.  You enjoy having a clean record, keeping everything hidden from them."

This wasn't necessarily true, but it was close enough.  I allowed her to continue.

"So tell me.  What's wrong?  Can I help with anything?"

_Yes,_ I thought sadly, _forget Hiei.  He doesn't want you, _I_ do.  Look into my eyes and _see_ it! It has to be written on my face._

"Let's just say that you are the reason," I began softly.  "You can't help. I've already been isolated."

"_I'm_ the reason?!"  She said in awe.  "_I'm the reason for this?_"

"Partly.  Most of it was entirely my fault.  Me and my blindness."  I gripped her hand tentatively.  I would never be able to take her hands into mine or warm them during the winter months.  "Please don't ask further questions. I want to be left alone.  I should see my mother before she has a heart attack.  I thank you for caring for my wounds."  __

I moved away from her before my heart toyed with my broken mind.  I needed to heal my deeper wounds on my own.

"_I'm_ the reason you tried to kill yourself?!" she exclaimed, still in awe over my words.  "But why?"

I bowed my head slightly, feeling the chilly breeze of the air move through my hair.  Maybe it wasn't obvious to her.  How wonderful it must be to be unconscious of the pain of others.  I wish I could have been oblivious to my own pain. No.  It would be there to haunt me until I was smart enough to forget her.  This wouldn't happen too soon.  Botan was the deity that haunted my dreams.  I know it sounded like useless gibberish, but it was true.  Why couldn't she see it?

I entered my human household after locating the keys.  I took off my shoes at the door.  My mother had said that she would be able to return home in a day or so when I last spoke to her.  That was two days ago.  She should be home unless something happened to her.  If she was still ill, I would call her on the phone.  I didn't want her to see that my heart was breaking.  It would hurt her emotionally to see that her 'perfect' son was hurting and she was unable to do anything.

"Mother?" I called out.  My voice echoed through the house.  It was still.  Still as death.  She wasn't home.  

I noticed the answering machine blinking on the phone stand.  I pushed a button.

"You have 22 messages," the mechanic voice said in its robotic monotone.  I pushed play and sat down, wondering who left the messages.

The sound of static echoed through the living room.  I heard the distant giggling of a group of girls.  I lowered my head and moaned in sad frustration.  It must have been some of the human girls from school.  Why did they feel overly affectionate for me when Botan couldn't?  Did I only attract _human_ girls?

"Suichi, I know you're wondering how I got your phone number.  Well, let me tell you!  I looked up in the phonebook," began a girl.  Her voice was high with excitement.

I frowned.  There were at least 20 Minamino families in our city.  It was a common name.

"Yeah, well, I called every single one of them.  This was the only one that had your voice on the answering machine so I figured it was your house. Isn't that the niftiest thing ever? I have Suichi Minamino's number now! I coulda died from happiness!"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry from the love in her voice.  It was hurting me.  It seemed to mock how I felt.  Why did _I_ have to be cursed with this life?  Was Kamisama punishing me for my previous life as a fox demon?  I listened through all of the messages, my heart aching more and more with each passing message filled with giggling females.  I felt as if I deserved it.  I reached to push the delete button for the last message.  I didn't have the heart to hear another torturous show of emotion.  My hand froze in midair as I heard the message.

"Suichi Minamino, this call is from the Sarayashiki* Hospital on behalf of your mother, Shiori Minamino."

My heart pulsed painfully.  _Please, I don't need this too,_ I thought.

"This is Dr. Fujiwara.  I called to tell you that your mother has fallen ill again.  It's very unfortunate.  Once again, we haven't been able to diagnose her to see what her disease is.  I want to inform you that we are doing what we can."

The message clicked, cutting off the message.  I deleted it and stared at the machine.  Ironic, as usual.  When I was ill, my mother caught yet another disease.  Why me? Why was my life destined to be an ironic soap opera?

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***Sarayashiki-**Well, that's the name of Yusuke's Jr. High, so I figured to name the hospital that.

Review, and I'll update. 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything.  I would like to, but I don't. Thanks for the reviews! Remember, still Kurama's POV. 

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It seemed now that I had no choice _but_ to visit my mother, even if I didn't want her to read my emotions with the 'mother's intuition' all human mothers seemed to have.  I wish I could have been more like Hiei at times like this.  He was always able to keep his face devoid of anything.  You could only see a harsh, carefree look on his face.  There was no telling what he was thinking or feeling. I could occasionally smell the emotions from him, but that was it.  I was never _sure_ of what he felt.  The only time his strict features softened was when Yukina was present.  She alone was gifted with the talent of making Hiei become capable of happiness and love.  

_You don't want to be Hiei because of _that_, do you?  You only want to be him because of the ferry girl._

As usual, Youko knew me all too well.  That was hardly something to be amazed of.  He was _partially_ correct.

~~**Sarayashiki Hospital~~**

**(A/N:** Again, I want you to know that I used the name Sarayashiki because Yusuke's jr. high is named this. You see places like "Creighton jr. High" and in the same town, "Creighton hospital". Ok? Now back to the fic!)

"May I help you?" the nurse asked me.  She looked very young, even for human standards.  I felt myself bristle.  Young females were so vulnerable to my looks.  No, I'm not trying to be bigheaded.  It's just a fact.  The human girls here are _vulnerable_ to my kitsune charm.  What's the fun in that?  I _want_ to be challenged.  Maybe that was why Botan was so alluring to me.  She was unreachable.  It was a _challenge.  _I think that was a part of it . . .that and the fact that she was beautiful and—

"May I help you?" the nurse repeated.  I snapped out of my thoughts.

I felt heat rise to my face.  "Forgive me, I'm a little preoccupied."

She smiled.  "Understandable."  I felt her gaze move from my eyes to my heavily bandaged wrists.  "Oh, are you here for an emergency?"

I thought of my human mother.  "Yes."

"Here.  Fill out these forms and I'll have the doctor be with you shortly."

"No, no, you misunderstood me.  Not an emergency for myself, it's my mother.  I need to know her room number.  I'm afraid they've changed rooms on me yet again," I said quickly.

"What's the name, dear?"

"Minamino Shiori."

She took a clipboard that was hanging on the wall and flipped through some pages muttering, "Shiori. . .Shiori. . ."  She flipped through another sheet of paper.  "Here it is!"

She gave me the room number and an ID card to prove that I was family.  I thanked her and climbed the flight of stairs to my mother's ward.  I passed by a room.  The doors were marked Intensive Care.  I paused briefly and checked quickly to see if that was the number that my mother was in.  She wasn't, thankfully.  I watched as a small girl was wheeled out of the Intensive Care on a bed.  Her body was wrapped in what looked like black plastic.  She was sobbing hysterically.

I looked closer at her.  That wasn't _plastic_.  It was her skin!  Poor human child.  She was maybe only 6 at the most.

"Please, sir, move along.  She's very sensitive to people staring at her.  Children feel as if they are being threatened if there are too many strangers around them," the doctor said softly.

I knew too well. I met the girl's eyes.  She stopped her sobbing almost immediately.  I wondered curiously what she could see in me.  I knew that small children were more sensitive to changes in Spirit Energy than humans did when they grew older.  Reikai has tried to disprove the fact, but I could sense the curious understanding in the child on these occasions.

  I could smell the pain and wonder floating in her aura.  As soon as she saw me, the smell of pain receded to a barely noticeable whisper.  

"A-are you an angel?" she asked breathlessly. The doctors stared from the child to me.

"Sure," I said softly, moving carefully towards the child.  I summoned some of my charming skills to calm her and to recede the pain to nothing.  I could feel that she was lulling into a sense of comfort as she felt my Reiki (A/N: I'll just use this for Spirit Energy since it doesn't take as long to type it!) move into her.  I used what little healing techniques I knew to help ease some of the blackened flesh to feel numb rather than pain.

"What's your name?" she asked.  

I smiled at her childlike innocence.  "You can call me Suichi, if you want.  What's your name?"

"I'm Yumeko.  Are you going to take me to Mommy?"  She reached out with a quivering hand to touch my hand.  I met her hand and held it.  

"Your mother?"  I looked to the doctors who mouthed silently that her mother had died in the accident that caused Yumeko to be burned severely.  

"Not yet.  You're going to be a big girl.  Your mother will watch over you.  Don't worry about her, okay?"

She smiled her innocent smile and lay her head back down on the pillow.  She squeezed my hand.  "When you go back, tell Mommy that I love her, kay?"

"Of course I will."

"And, and 'member that she's the one in the funny blue shoes, kay?"

"Of course."  Of course I had _no _idea about what she was talking about.  I used my Reiki to lull her to sleep.  She let go of my hand and sighed as if she had seen the most wonderful thing in the world.

"What are you thinking?!  Giving a child false hope?" the nurse whispered angrily.

"False hope on what?"

"That she'll survive?  These are 3rd degree burns _at least_!"

"She'll survive."  I walked away, feeling a lingering happiness from the girl's innocence.  Small children could cheer a person up.  It gave me hope to visit my mother.

Surely Mother would be well.  Surely she'll be there to smile and tease me with her human nonsense.  Surely she'll be there to talk about how foolish the doctors were for believing she was dying.  Right?  

I walked into the room my mother was in.  Immediately, my hopes were crushed.  

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Sorry about the cliffie, but hey, it'll be effective! Now you HAVE to read the next chapter to know what happens!

Review, and I'll update! Promise!

This is three pages typed.  Now enjoy. If you don't, oh well.  There WILL be another chapter!

Don't worry, Kurama will get his break.  Just be patient! (Does anyone ever read these things?!)


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything. I just own this story. Thanks for the reviews! Still Kurama's POV.  It will not change! 

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Beep. Beep. Beep. Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

"Quick! Get check to make sure the heart rate machine isn't malfunctioning! I can feel her pulse, but the machine says she's dead.  Get her blood pressure, stat!"

The room was full of nurses scrambling to get what the doctor demanded.

"The device says she's dead?" I asked in horror.  "Is she going to be okay?"

The doctor rolled his hazel eyes in frustrated sarcasm.  "Of course she's going to be fine.  She caught an unknown disease with no cure.  Sure.  She'll be healed by tomorrow."

"How can you joke about this?!" I demanded.

"I'm not joking, boy!  This is more serious than a teenager like you could know.  After she caught it, everyone in the hospital got it.  It's amazing that the patients with burns haven't got this yet. Maybe they're suffering too much to notice. Now, get out before you catch it too."

"I'm not going to catch this," I said firmly.  I had a very strong immune system.  Having a demon spirit sharing a human one allowed me to live through various illnesses and wounds.  I suppose suicide was one of these things.

"Fine.  Suit yourself.  Don't come crawling to this hospital when you get this disease."

I continued to look at him, seeing how feeble his spirit was.  He looked away from my gaze.  "Might I speak to my mother alone?  Since there isn't a cure to this, isn't it a futile attempt to save her?"  I doubted that the human doctor was going to be able to do very much to help my mother. None of them managed to save my mother.  I had to sit by her bedside, using my Reiki in small amounts to heal her slowly so the doctors wouldn't be amazed and try to dissect her to find out what the miracle was.  

He narrowed his eyes at me.  "Don't use that tone with me.  I know what I'm doing.  You don't have the slightest bit of say in this."

I was becoming frustrated with the human.  "Yes, I do."  I felt Youko push to the surface as my anger grew.  "Leave me with her alone for a moment if you don't want to die a dismal and torturous death."  Youko had pushed through, threatening to kill the human in a way that he would enjoy.

The weak spirited human cowered under my gaze, or more accurately, or more accurately Youko's gaze, and nodded quickly.  "Y-yes.  Everyone, clear this room until further notice.  We need to contact the other hospitals anyway."

He threw the last sentence as if in my face.  He left quickly with the young nurses after him.  They studied me as they left.  I was already used to females staring at me. 

I mentally pushed Youko back down before he went on a killing rampage after having to stay under wraps for so long.  I moved by my human mother's side and grimaced as I felt how weak her aura was.  The scent of her suffering was strong in the air.

"Mother.  I'm sorry I wasn't here for you," I said sadly, taking her hand.  "I didn't want you to be able to see the pain I feel, but this isn't the way I wanted you to not be able to notice."

Her eyes fluttered open at the touch of my hand.  "Suichi?"

"Yes, Mother, It's me."  Her voice was so weak and frail.  She was strong enough to give birth to me and raise me on her own as well as being able to handle my constant absence due to my job as being Yusuke's teammate, but here she was.  She was dying.  I could smell it.  Even Youko knew it.  I felt the excitement rise up in me.  I knew that it wasn't an emotion I personally felt.

"I was so worried.  I know it was wrong of me to want you to visit a boring old woman like me everyday.  You're a teenager and I knew that you would want freedom away from me," she said.

"No, Mother.  I was ill in the past few days."

"Please don't try and make me feel better . . ."

"But it's the truth!"

"No.  I know how your mind works."

"It is the truth!  What is this to you?"  In desperation I thrust my bandaged wrists into her view.  "This is a joke, is it?"

"Yes.  It's an excuse!  That's all you are nowadays! Excuses, excuses, excuses!  Tell me the truth!  I hate you for lying!"

Tsk tsk tsk, Youko muttered in my mind.  Interesting to see that your very own mother hates you now.  The human mind is easily corrupted.

I pushed him away with enough forced to give me a headache.  "Mother, I'm sorry, but it was for your own good!"

"It's good for me to know that my son is a liar?  Thank you for lying to me.  You scare me out of my wits when you appear with your clothes torn and bloody and here you are, thanking me by lying to me?  Feh.  I see how much you care about me. My son indeed. Feh."

"M-mother . . ."

A faint flash of light lit the dim hospital room for a brief moment.  My mother's eyes closed and her head slumped against her pillow.  I blinked in the momentary bright light.

"It isn't her fault.  It's the illness.  Don't get worked up over it.  I'm sorry you had to see her like this.  Don't worry about the light.  It's a sleeping Reiki technique Yukina taught me.  She's a genius about these things!"

I nearly jumped when a hand touched my shoulder.  I looked up and saw Botan.  Her face was pale instead of the perfect milky color of her smooth skin.  "What illness would make my mother act like this?" I demanded in disbelief.  Tears chose to spring to my eyes at that precise moment, forcing myself to embarrass myself in front of the girl I practically worshiped.

I brushed my sleeve across my eyes, ashamed of the tears that flowed down my cheeks.  I shook my head and gazed back at my mother's still form.

"It's some sort of sickness that escaped from Reikai."  Her voice was full of sympathy for my shameful performance of tears.  I felt the warmth of her body as she put her arms around my shoulders. I froze, almost afraid to breathe.  It felt as if that a single intake or outtake of oxygen would scare my deity away from me. "I forgot to warn you, but you got me worked up over you telling me that I was the reason that you tried to kill yourself.  It's okay to cry, though."

"This escaped from Reikai?  It would seem like it would come from Makai.  Makai seems to be the cause of everything like this," I murmured, managing to control my tears as well as Youko's teasing laughter.

"Yes.  It's from the spirits that mourn their loved ones.  Some of them become angry because their loved ones eventually forget about the family members that died.  This is an illness that penetrates the living spirit.  Only sick humans are able to catch this.  It's strange, but people who are already in too much pain won't catch this.  They're immune to it.  Unfortunately, your mother was still weak from her illness before this one.  It's sort of a bad thing that she isn't in terrible pain now.  This illness is supposedly worse than having burned skin."

"Is there a name to this?" I asked.

"Not a specific name, but Lord Koenma calls this the Living Death.  If we don't get all the ingredients soon, I'm going to be pretty busy in the next couple of months taking the wandering spirits across the Sanzu River.  I came to tell you because your mother isn't supposed to die of this.  She's going to live to be an old hag," Botan said, trying to cheer me up.

"So, so there's a cure for this?"

"Of course, silly! If we didn't, there would be a lot less humans in the world today and a lot more half-breeds out there.  We keep careful watch on this thing, but the ogre doing the research caught a cold.  Isn't it ironic?!  So, are you going to help me find the ingredients, or are you just going to sit there and feel bad over what your mother didn't mean?"

"You want me to help?  What about Hiei?  He can help do things faster than me," I said, a tone of bitterness leaked into my words.  

Botan blushed and let go of my shoulders.  "The problem is that he doesn't want to.  I asked him.  I'll even quote him!"  She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms to mimic Hiei's harsh, nonchalant personality.  "Who gives a damn about the human race?  All it means for me is less stupidity in the world.  I doubt he'll help us," she continued, slipping out of her version of Hiei.

She smiled.  "It seems like you're my only choice.  I can't get everything by myself!  Some of these things are found in Makai, you know."

"Is the cure complex?"

"Yes.  Want to see the list?"  She took magically took a long scroll out and unrolled it.  There was a long list of ingredients and instructions. 

 I raised an eyebrow.  "No joke?"

"Yup!  This is the real thing! We have to get these things by the next full moon; otherwise your mother's soul will depart to the underworld!  Well, her and all the other humans."

"You sound too cheerful for the possibility to an entire race being wiped out by a spirit disease."

"Yes, I'm very excited!"  She seemed to read the questioning look on my face.  "I'm not excited about death, silly. It just means more work for me if we can't do this on time, but this will be an adventure without Yusuke's childish jabbering and Kuwabara's nonsense!"

I wondered whether her words were an insult or a complement to my own strange personality and jumbled thoughts.  She took my arm and hauled me as well as she could to my feet.

"C'mon, Kurama!  It's just one big adventure with just you and me!  No arguing, insults at anyone, nothing.  Just an intelligent conversation and thoughts," she said, still in a cheerful tone.

Just you and me . . . Her words repeated in my thoughts.  Yes.  That sounded nice.  

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**For those of you that thought the last chapter was boring, I'm sorry, but I sort of got in a writer's block.  It didn't last long, though.  A new idea occurred to me to have my ending worked out the right way.**

**I never got 109 reviews on anything on fanfiction before!  I'm so happy!  Cookies and plushies for everyone!  It's nice to know that I'm loved.  If anyone else reads the authoress notes (Yes, Miyako14, I know you read these things and more cookies for you!) then you get more thanks! **


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything! 

I appreciate the reviews and the people that read the a/n.  Cookies & plushies to everyone!

Still Kurama's POV!

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I was still hurt over the way my human mother had yelled at me for having lied to her for the past years of my human life. The look must have shown on my face.

"Cheer up, Kurama.  We'll get her fixed up in a jiffy!" Botan said, stopping at the rusty garage door of a warehouse.  She frowned at the rust.  "No wonder no human's bothered this.  Look how bad this is.  I don't know if I can get this open."

She cocked her head, continuing to study the door.  "I forget if there's a backdoor somewhere," she muttered to herself.  She looked up at me thoughtfully, seeming to look at me in a new light.  "You can cut a hole in it."

"Are you sure you want me to do that?  Once I do that, wouldn't the humans be tempted to enter this place and tamper with the barrier?"

She nodded.  "The humans will all catch the Living Death within 48 hours."

I said nothing for a moment.  "Is it possible for _us _to catch this?"

"Yes, but hopefully since we're in Makai, it'll slow the progression of it.  If we hurry and find everything, I doubt we have to worry about it."

"What about Yusuke and the rest of our friends?"

She gazed at me and smiled.  "It's a wonder that your hair hasn't turned gray."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You worry too much to be the reborn spirit of a Makai thief!  Sometimes you think too far and stress over things.  They're aware of Spirit Energy changes, they'll be immune to it for a day or so longer than everyone else."  She jerked a thumb to the rusted door.  "Now, get this, will you?"

I closed my eyes first, allowing my senses to detect any human-like life form within a half-mile radius.  I only sensed Botan. I opened my eyes and took out a rose.  I looked at it for a moment.  

Blood . . .it matches the rose, as will the water in a few more seconds . . .

I shook my head to clear the memory of my attempted suicide away and twisted the rose in the breeze, manipulating the simple object into something more deadly and complex.  It sounded like a link of chains falling to the ground as it landed.  I raised it and flicked it at the rusty door.  It immediately gave way as if I was merely attacking a wet paper bag.

I returned the rose to its original shape and noticed her studying the torn door.  She glanced at me.  I gave her mock bow.  "After you."

She grinned at me as if _everything_ that had happened was an inside joke just between the two of us.  The suicide, the misunderstandings, and the fact that my mother was going to die and possibly us if we didn't do anything soon.

I helped her step through the opening in the door.  She kneeled down on the ground, knocking the hardwood floor lightly, tilting her head to test the sound.  "Aha!"  A compartment opened up.

"You first," she said almost instantly.

"Me?" I repeated blankly.

"You're Mr. High and Mighty Youko, right? Go in and make sure the coast is clear.  I'll go in right after you!"  She shoved me in.

I felt as if I were hurtling through a bottomless abyss.  Suddenly, the ground seemed to come out of nowhere.  I fell unceremoniously on my face.  _Perfect,_ I thought sarcastically, quickly pushing myself to a standing position before Botan came down to see me with dirt on my face.

I dusted myself off and looked up to see Botan flying down.  I positioned myself under her and caught her easily.

"Thanks! Now, for our first ingredient," she replied quickly as soon as I had set her on her feet.

I smiled inwardly at her cheerful attitude that had quickly hardened to seriousness.  "What exactly do we have to find?"

She shrugged her slender shoulders.  "Not much.  Just a few things."

"It can't just be a _few_ things. That list must be at least two feet long," I replied incredulously.

"No, it's only a foot and a half.  I checked.  Before we argue or worse, lets just go on with this."

Within five hours, we had gathered everything except for the remaining item.

"What's the last one say, Kurama?" Botan asked for the umpteenth time.  

"The head of a loud-mouthed ferry girl," I replied promptly.

She gave me a pitiful look then winked at me.  "No, seriously.  For some reason, I can't remember it.  I know you've told me more than once but it just goes out one ear."

"Asphodel."  I frowned thoughtfully.  "There's asphodel in Makai?"

"There is now.  It's been here for about ten years already.  I guess you wouldn't know since you were living as a human for the past 16 years, right?"

"Interesting."

"Sniff it out!" she remarked teasingly and patted me on the back.

I knew what she meant by 'sniffing it out'.  All of the ingredients had been plants.  Thankfully, the gathering of it was easy.  Since Asphodel already existed in Makai, all I had to do was speed up the growth of the plants around me to tell where asphodel was going to appear.

"What's this again?" Botan replied, picking a few asphodel plants.

"You don't tire of this?" I asked, looking at her.

"Of . . .of what?  Did I do something wrong?" she said honestly.  I stared at her.  Her eyes weren't shimmering with a joke behind them.  This was serious.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Now that you mention it, it's kind of chilly in Makai, isn't it?"  She rubbed her arms and tucked the asphodel into a bag we had used to collect things.

I blinked at the answer.  It was the opposite of chilly.  It was quite warm here in Makai.  Either she was hallucinating or I was blushing without realizing it for being in her company.  I reached up as if to brush my hair away from my face.  My cheeks didn't feel any warmer than they usually did when I was in a normal situation.  I moved my arm without thinking to stroke Botan's cheeks lightly.  They were hot.

"You're ill," I said flatly.

"What?  I'm not sick!  Don't tick me off, Kurama.  Why don't you just go away and run crying to your mother?" she snapped, slapping my hand away.

Her word had stung me deeply, hitting a chord that didn't sound very well in my ears.  

She stared at me for a moment, her jaw dropping.  "Oh my gosh, did I hit you?!  What's wrong with me?"  She rubbed her hands against her temples as if to relieve herself of a headache.

My eyes widened in realization.  The Living Death.  She must have come down with it as well.  The short-term memory loss and the unexpected bursts of anger were signs.  She was able to fight it for short moments, but after that, she launched into another angry outburst.

"Why are you staring at me? Are you some kind of pervert? Go away!"  She stomped off.

"Botan, you can't run off on your own in Makai," I said helplessly.

"As long as I'm away from you, I'll go to hell if I have to!"

I followed her.  Technically, Makai _was_ a hell, but only to the humans or Reikai people.

"_Go away!_" she practically screamed as I reached to grip her arm.

"Botan, I'm sorry to have to do this to you," I said, knowing that she would take what I said the entirely wrong way.  I grabbed her arm first, to see if there was any possible way that she could fight it any longer.

She sobbed for a moment, her head against my chest.  "I'm sorry.  I-I can't help myself!  You know I don't mean to do any of this," she sobbed in a strained voice.

I held her.  I knew that I had no choice but to do what was needed.  "It's fine.  I understand."

"It's not okay. You've got so many bad things that happened to you in just a few months.  Partly because of me.  And now, it's too late and.. .I love you."

For a moment, I wondered if it was the real Botan talking or the Living Death.  My heart thudded in the silence.  "But what about Hiei?"

"Hiei doesn't matter.  He-he doesn't care about me, does he?"

I opened my mouth to reply, only to be shoved to the ground.

"What are you doing?!  Sicko!" she yelled, her oar coming out of nowhere, dangerously close to knocking me into submission.

I backed away at first to give me room away from her.

She dropped her oar and clutched her head.  "I'm going crazy! Just follow the scroll!  It tells you everything.  Just hurry before I manage to kill you!"

I got to my feet and pulled out my rose whip.  "Botan, if you can hear any sense in me, back away so I don't kill you."

"What, _now_ you're scared?  Big Makai thief scared of a wooden object.  You're just a stupid animal."

I flinched at the insults issuing from her mouth almost as fluently as Yusuke's cursing in a bad mood.  I calculated the distance between her and me and took a few steps back.  I flicked the rose whip, knocking her unconscious.  I grimaced at the way she pitched backward in an unnatural arch.  I moved quickly behind her to catch her.

There was a scratch on her head from where the rose whip had hit her.  I had managed to hit her directly in the middle of her forehead.  A drop of blood oozed out.  I brushed it away, kissing her brow delicately.  I didn't want to do this to her.  If I had managed to miscalculate by even a millimeter, I could cause her to become mentally retarded.  For her sake, I had no other choice.

I lifted her up in one arm, amazed at how light she was in my arms.

_Mark her.  Mark her while she's asleep.  She said she cares for you and we both know that you lost your mind over her,_ Youko hissed in my mind.

I pushed thoughts of him away.  Botan might have been speaking through the Living Death.  It might have been my own hopeful thoughts towards her that only led me to believe that she was speaking the truth.  I grabbed the ancient scroll in my free hands.

_Once all the ingredients are found, grind them into a fine powder_.

That didn't sound hard, in fact it sounded too easy.  I read the next line.

From atop the Mountain of Four Winds, sprinkle the powder into the winds, enabling the living creatures to be at peace yet again.

I reread it.  Mountain of Four Winds?  Where in the world was that?!

~~What this chappie too long?  It was about 3 and a half pages. . . hope you like this and yes, people, Kurama will get his break.  There was a hint of it here.  Review and I'll get more up soon!~~


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything! 

I appreciate the reviews!  I accept flames and I have since the beginning.  I just keep forgetting to mention int.  

Still Kurama's POV!

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"Mountain of Four Winds," I murmured repeatedly as I exited the barrier.  "How could I find it?"  I glanced at Botan's unconscious form in my arms.  I was almost positive that she knew, yet what good would that be for me?  If she awakened, I would only have her snapping at my heels and possibly at Hiei and everyone else.  I sighed and probed the air around me, searching for any sign of humans near or far.  No one was close.  This was good.  I wouldn't be questioned for carrying a still body.

_Where the hell are you, fox?_

That was Hiei's voice in my mind.  _I'm on the far east of the main street.  _

_I'll meet you there.  Stay there._

_B-but Hiei, what's the rush?  _I then felt as if I were talking to myself.  I looked around, wondering why Hiei sounded like he was in trouble.  I shifted Botan in my arms. Her head flopped gently to be against my chest.  I looked at her, admiring her beauty that was evident, even in slumber.

_Stupid human.  You don't know if you killed her.  You could've miscalculated,_ Youko replied in my mind matter-of-factly.

I scowled inwardly, continuing to look at Botan.  I glanced up, feeling smelling something disturbing in the air.  It smelled like pain.  It wasn't Botan.  Her Reiki was a low pulse, but what I smelled wasn't right.  I hoped it wasn't Hiei or anyone else I knew.

"Where've you been?  I've been looking for you for nearly an entire day."

I turned to meet Hiei.  I nodded briefly at him.  "I was in Makai to gather the ingredients for the cure of this disease passing around."

His harsh look softened to a relieved sigh.  "So there _is_ a cure.  That's good news."

I raised an eyebrow.  "What're you implying?"

He ignored my question to stare at Botan's still form.  He nodded his head toward her.  "Did you run into something in Makai?"

"No, it's the disease."

His lips parted as he raised his questioning stare to meet my eyes.  I've known him long enough to note that this was his equivalent of a jaw-drop.  "She's got it too, then," he murmured flatly.  He sighed, raising a hand to run his fingers through his raven hair.  This was a gesture he did only in my presence.  It was a sign of helpless frustration—a very rare gesture from him indeed.

"_Too_?" I repeated.  "Who else has it if you really said _too_?"

"Hn.  I'll give you three guesses."

"Yukina?" 

"Yeah.  It's almost like whatever she's been going through weakened her somehow."  He crossed his arms, giving me an insinuating glare.  

"Oh, and I suppose everything in my life is entirely my fault?" I said irritably.

"No.  Well, yes.  Partly.  It was mostly my fault for starting this mess in the first place, I suppose."

"You couldn't have started the illness."

He gave me a half-hearted shrug.  He looked away and moved the subject to a different angle.  "So you say you know the cure?"

"Yes, I just need to grind the things in this bag into a powder.  There's only one thing I'm having trouble on."  I unrolled the scroll and showed him the inscription on it.  "See this place?  The Mountain of Four Winds.  I have no idea where that is." 

"Oh, _that_ place."  He nodded.

"You know where it is, then?"

He snorted.  "Feh.  Me?  Hell no.  I've heard of it, but it's a stupid legend."

My heart fell.  "Then, this cure is also a superstition?"

"Depends.  Where'd you get it from?"

"Botan."

He nodded again.  "Since she gave it to you, then it must be real.  Spirit World doesn't keep worthless shit in their library.  The shit they keep usually is worthwhile.  _Usually_. No guarantees of course."

I thought over his words.  "Then, I suppose I must go to Reikai and speak with Koenma to help with this."

"I'd go with you, but with Yukina yelling at the lummox for being near her, I wouldn't want to miss it."  He smirked.  "Honestly, it'll be _priceless_."  He gestured to Botan.  "I can watch over her too."

"It's not that easy.  Botan tends to get, er, irritable, just to put things lightly.  I had to knock her unconscious to keep her from bashing my skull in with her oar."

I saw the amused grin rise onto his lips.  "Priceless," he repeated.  "Too bad I missed that."  His expression hardened.  "I'll watch over her.  I'll strap her to one of those metal transportation devices the humans have if worse comes to worse."

"Cars," I offered promptly.

He waved the comment away.  "Whatever the hell it's called.  Just do what you have to.  I'll handle this."

"Can you carry her?" I asked, curious.  Botan's height stopped at my shoulder, which was possibly a foot higher than Hiei, not counting his hair, of course.

"Fuck off.  I can do it."  He took her from me and dashed off at his speed.  I looked after them, wondering how Botan would react, even with the Living Death.

~~Spirit World H.Q.~~

(A/n: How the heck did he get here? * shrug * ah well.  Use your imagination, then!)

"What kind of question is that, Kurama?" Koenma protested, chewing on his pacifier.

"All the humans are falling ill.  Some of us aren't even of Ningenkai and still have the illness.  Yukina has it. Botan too."

His eyes widened.  "Botan?  Is she okay?  I sent her on this thing to make sure I wouldn't have to work my royal fanny off."

"Yes, well, I need to know where the Mountain of Four Winds are."

"You can't go there!  The only way to get there is through Dad's room.  Even _I'm_ not allowed to go in there!"

"Then perhaps I could speak to King Yama?" I suggested.

He gasped, his pacifier nearly falling out.  "No, how can you even _think_ about talking to Dad?!  That's the craziest thing ever!  Do you want to _die_?!"

"No offense meant, Koenma, but everything else that could possibly happen has occurred in the span of three weeks.  The only thing I haven't accomplished is dying.  This isn't a major issue to me."  

He narrowed his eyes, studying me carefully.  "Sorry, but if _I_ can't go into Dad's room, there's no way I'm letting you in!  End of discussion."

"But if you don't allow me to do this, the entire living world will die," I protested.  I paused and held up the bag.  "Unless you would like to do this," I added.

"No way!  Okay, okay, I'll let you go, but if my precious backside gets even a scratch when my Dad hears this, I'll give you a hundred spankings.  No, make that three hundred!"

George, the ogre beside him, gasped.  "Three hundred?  But Koenma, sir, isn't that a bit harsh?"

"Nope.  When my fanny is on the line, nothing is harsh enough!"  The prince waved me away.  "Go on, hurry up before Dad finds out."

"Finds out what?"  A deep, booming voice filled the room.  The very walls seemed to vibrate from the low octave.   I gazed up to see the large, frightening figure that was King Yama.  His eyes were glued to Koenma. "Find out what?" he repeated.

"Well, Dad, it's just . . ." Koenma fiddled with a pen.

"Please, sir, the entire living world is coming down with this disease from Reikai.  I have the ingredients here," I began.

"Yes, I know that.  Do you know what you have to do?"

"I need to go to the Mountain of Four Winds, but Koenma has said that I'm unable to go to it because I must first go through your room." I smiled weakly at King Yama.  "Please, might I go to the mountain to save the human race?  I'm sure it'll be less work for you."

King Yama nodded.  "I don't have a problem with this.  Go on through.  Whenever it's less work for me, anything will be fine.  Go on, go on!  The pathway to the mountain is in inside the wardrobe with gold doors.  One word of warning, though, demon.  You may not survive through it.  Normally, only I am able to go through it, but if your intentions and your heart is true, then you'll survive."  He paused and studied me with his large black eyes.  "This may not work.  The fox demon is half of your soul.  Can you control him enough to do this?"

I bowed respectfully.  "I'm afraid I have no choice."

He grinned.  "I would be honored if my son was more like you—willing to take risks for his job."  He shot a look at Koenma who cowered and did his best to refrain from crawling under his desk.  "You.  I'll deal with _you_ later.  You're lucky I'm busy right now!"

He stomped off, leading me to his room.  "Here.  You do the rest.  As for me, I've got work."

"Thank you, sir."

"No, no thanking me.  I'll thank you for giving me less people to judge over today.  Can you imagine how many people are in Tokyo?! Anyway, good luck."

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Review and I'll update!


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything!  Flames R accepted. 

Thank you for all the reviews and for helping me reach WAY above 100 reviews. * sniff * I feel so loved.

**Incase any of you are dying for an update to my newest fic (My Assassin, My Dark Angel), I'm really sorry.  I'll turn my attention to that as soon as this fic is done so be patient!  Special thanks to those who have reviewed both of these! You know who you are!**

I think you know who's POV this is by now, right? 

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King Yama's bedroom was enormous.  It was more like a cathedral with the high ceilings.  The glass panels that decorated the walls were a collage of color and glinting beauty.  No wonder he was against anyone but himself going into this room.  Even I, with my ability to work with delicate objects, felt as if the entire room were fragile.  Even my footsteps seemed to be able to collapse the work of art into multicolor shards.

The room light reflected off of something large and gold.  Ah, the wardrobe.  It was a priceless work of art.  I knew my treasures well enough to tell that this was exquisite and carefully crafted.  A faint wave of greed washed over me.  Youko was becoming excited from the sight of this.  I walked towards it and ran my fingers along the inscription.  It was in the old tongue; some of these words have been lost for good.  I had nearly forgotten what some of these words had meant.  My hand trembled with a sense of foreboding as I reached to open the golden doors.

There was a whoosh of cool air that swept me into the wardrobe.  A heavy wooden sound echoed behind me, signaling that the door had closed somehow of it's own accord.  Once again, I fell to my knees from the unexpected landing.  I opened my eyes to a black nothingness.  Instantly, Youko's night vision kicked in, allowing me to get a faint idea of my surroundings.  My hand scraped against fine sand and something that felt like pebbles.

A light alerted my attention.  I stood, ready to protect myself from whatever possible threat there was.  My eyes grew accustomed to the darkness.  I saw that the light was a paper lantern—one used a long time ago for special reasons.  The light illuminated a female somewhere around Hiei's height.  She was beautiful in an eerie fashion.  She wore a white kimono.  Her raven hair was tied back loosely to fall down her back.

_'You've come here with an impure heart but pure intentions.  What is your explanation for this?'_ the girl replied.  At least I _think_ she said that.  Her lips didn't move.  Instead, I heard her voice in my head.

"I share my—" I began.

I saw the girl wince.  _'Shh.  You cannot speak that loud.'_

I tried again, in a whisper this time.  She winced again.  _'You misunderstand me.  In this place, you cannot speak with a bodily voice.  Speak with your spirit.'_

_My spirit?_ I thought to myself with a faint frown.  _What spirit?  Does Youko sharing my soul count? Do I have to turn into my demon form to speak?  What's that mean?_

She smiled.  _"Ah, you're the extraordinary being that has a split soul.  Now I see.  I suppose you can call the way we are talking _telepathy.  _Why have you come here?'_

_The entire living world will come down with this disease known to Reikai as the Living Death.  I came here to stop it, _I thought to her.

She nodded.  '_So you have gone into the demon world to gather the ingredients for this?'_

I nodded.  _'Then you must have the scroll,'_ she continued.

I held it up as well as the pouch full of ingredients I had ground together according to the scroll.

'Good, but there is one problem.  You know that to be able to go through with this, you must be pure of heart.  You are flawed because of your split soul.'

_But I _need _to do this!  My human mother will die and my friends will die along with the entire human population! _I protested.

_Feh, who gives a damn about the humans, _Youko scoffed.

_You care to an extent, don't you?_ I snapped at him in frustration.  _You enjoy killing them._

_Because I don't give a damn about them!_

_'Please! Please! Don't argue!'_ the female exclaimed.  _'The only way you can survive this is if you can control your demon half or if he can control himself.'_

_What happens if I don't? _Youko demanded.

_'Your spirit will forever linger here, somewhere between Reikai, Makai and Ningenkai.  You can only leave when someone with a _pure heart_ comes here.  There's only darkness here, not to mention that a human with a pure soul is very rare nowadays.'_

I grimaced at the thought of floating around in the darkness alone with only Youko to speak to.  Youko seemed to feel as I did.  

The girl smiled weakly.  _'Do you still feel as if you must do this?'_

I paused for a moment, wondering if everything was really worth eternity in this nothingness.  Botan's face appeared in my thoughts.  Botan falling to her knees, screaming that she would lose her mind from the Living Death.  And . . .and there was a glimmer of hope in her words.  How was I going to find out if she truly cared unless I risked my future?

_Yes.  I'm going through with this._  I clenched my hand into a fist.

'Then you must follow your heart to the pinnacle of the Mountain of Four Winds.  Once you reach it, you must time this perfectly.  You are lucky that you have come here today.'

_Why?_ I asked

_'Surely you've wondered of the name?  This is the point where the north, south, east and west winds meet, but it only occurs once every thousand years.  You're extremely lucky.  If you've done this correctly, you'll be transported to your hometown.  Remember to follow your heart and intuition.  Good luck.'_

She disappeared, her light leaving as well.  My eyes had to readjust to the darkness.  "Well, Youko, can you keep yourself in check?" I murmured.  I only got silence in return.  I shrugged, hoping that it meant he would stay still.

Somehow I reached the summit.  I could feel the winds rustling around my feet and legs.  Follow your heart, she says.  Easier said than done.  After all, hadn't 'following my heart' just gotten me into this dramatic mess?  

I grabbed a handful of the powdered ingredients.  I had to time it perfectly . . .

I threw it in, seeing a flash of purplish light.  I paused, wondering if this was the result of having done this incorrectly.  I felt nothing dangerous from the light and quickly threw the rest of the powder in.  Immediately, the bright purplish light blinded me.  There was light, light, and more light.  Then darkness.  

"Dammit, fox, talk to me!  Wake up!"

I felt something hit my face.  Still, I didn't move.  My entire body felt like a leaden weight.  Even so, I was aware of my surroundings.  That meant I was alive.  I think.  I _hope_.

"Don't do that to him, you dwarf! You're gonna give him a compensation or something!"

"What the hell is a compensation?"

"You know, when your head gets hit and you become retarded."

"Dumb ass.  You mean _concussion._  Are you sure you haven't suffered one?"

"If I did, I'd think I was a ballerina or something."

"You're already obsessed with kittens. Can it get worse?"

"Hiei, you can't argue with someone stupid like Kuwabara.  Leave him alone.  We need to tend to Kurama right here."

"Geez, Uremeshi, you ain't my mom!"

"Thank God for that.  And anyway, I was talking to Hiei."

"Yusuke, Hiei, Kuwabara, all of you knock it out!  This is serious.  He might not make it through this time."

"Relax, woman, he's alive.  His heart is beating.  At least I hope that's his heart and not a Makai maggot squirming in his chest cavity."

"Ew, that's gross!  How can you have a cavity in his _chest_?!"

"Kuwabara!  You are the biggest idiot I've ever met!"

"Hn.  You must not have met very many humans, then."

I forced myself to sit up, even though it was difficult.  I felt battered and bruised.  "Did I get run over by a street sweeper?" I asked mildly.

"Too bad you didn't," Hiei remarked, his smirk hiding a smile of relief.

"You shoulda heard all the crap he was saying about you!" Kuwabara interrupted, his face close to mine.  "He said you had a _cavity_ in your chest! Is that even possible?!"

I blinked at him.  "No, the chest cavity is the place that houses your lungs and heart.  The cavity you are thinking of is only found in your teeth."

"Good.  Dentists scare me enough when they dig in my mouth, but in my chest?  Woo, that woulda been scary!"

I watched Hiei look at him with a familiar look on his face.  (A/n: Okay, in another words, he's got the anime bead of sweat, k?)  I held back a chuckle and gazed at the rest of my friends around me.  

"Hey, Kurama, Yukina's all better now.  Botan too," Yusuke said, flashing me the thumbs up.  "Good job, I guess.  You earned yourself a break!  Botan told us what you were doing after she came to her senses."

"Kurama, what was it like in there?" Botan asked, her voice softer than the cheery tone I was used to.

"Dark, cold, and windy," I replied.  "I would've been stuck there if Youko had tried to take over."

_Stupid human.  I only remained quiet because there is a prize here.  You worked for it and I realized I wanted it as well,_ Youko said easily.__

I only had a vague idea of what he spoke of.  For some reason, my eyes couldn't leave Botan's.  There was a look in here eyes that was never there before.  She smiled weakly and closed her eyes, shaking her head.  "I was scared for a while, even though the sickness was messing up my mind.  When there were sane moments, I was worried about you more than for myself."  Her eyes opened.  "I'm sorry for being blind to what you were feeling.  I was just caught up in myself.  Now that everything's done with, I sort of feel the same way."

"You mean that what you said in Makai wasn't from the Living Death?" I breathed, hardly daring to believe it.

She shook her head again, tears coming to her amethyst eyes.  "No, it's the truth.  I'm stupid for just _now_ seeing it and letting you have to go through all this alone.  I'm sorry."

I stared at her stupidly.  I had dreamed of this moment, but I only felt a comforting warmth rather than the thrill I had expected to feel.  I held up an arm without realizing it, beckoning for her to come closer.  Botan came towards me, allowing me to wrap my arms around her.

"Why are you sorry?  There's nothing to be sorry for," I murmured.

She laughed a little.  "To you, maybe."  Her head moved from her place on my shoulder and her eyes caught mine.  She seemed to _want_ something of me.  

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I blurted out.

She burst out laughing and kissed me without a warning.

There was only one word to describe it.  Bliss.  I had nearly died from happiness at that moment.  Who was I to care that Kuwabara was miming gags or Yusuke saying, "Uh, did I miss something here?" Or the strained smirk on Hiei's face.

Who was I to care that the world around the two of us didn't exist in this moment?  Nothing mattered more than that all the things I had gone through were being excused because I had gotten the one thing I truly had desired all along. Youko took over momentarily to press Botan closer against me to deepen the kiss.  To my amazement, Botan allowed me to become rougher with her.  Maybe she understood that Youko was an animal.  Or maybe she didn't mind. Either way, this was sheer bliss.

Yet . . .yet something was the matter.  I could feel it in the air around us.  Was it doubt?  If so, was it coming from me?  I could sense that something wasn't quite right.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ha! The moment you all were dying for! A sort of happy ending! But wait; did I leave it at a cliffie? Yes I did!  You gotta review to make me want to update.  C'mon, don't you wanna know what happens?

**Was this chapter long enough (4pages at least right here)?  And was _this_ chapter boring you? Hmph! Just to let you know, not _all_ chapters can be fun and exciting! Some chapters _have_ to be boring just to explain stuff or give a little background info! So if there's a boring chapter, sorry, but there's probably something important in it.**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything!  Flames R accepted. 

**Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=**

I think you know who's POV this is by now, right? 

**=^.^= ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ =^.^=**

My eyes opened to the morning sun streaming out between the curtains.  Dust particles danced in the beam of sunlight.  I blinked, trying to remember how I had gotten here.  I heard a soft sigh next to me and felt a shuffling as Botan turned over.  I looked over at her.  Her eyes were still closed, still asleep.  In her shifting, she nuzzled against me, one arm thrown carelessly across my chest.  I smiled involuntarily, suddenly remembering the night before. It was a glorious, passion-filled night that would stay in my memory for eternity. 

(A/n: Sorry, I can't get into a lemon or I'd have my fic booted off since there's snitchers out there. * squints suspiciously at readers * So, you can figure out what they did and if you're mind is lost in the gutter, you can imagine the details.)

By the unwritten laws written nature inscribed in my . . .rather, Youko's, brain, I now officially 'owned' Botan, if you could go as far to say such a thing.  I gazed thoughtfully at her.  Yes, she was mine now, but I couldn't help but think back to yesterday, before the act of marking her was accomplished.  Upon kissing her, I had felt the thrill of happiness.  Afterwards, I had sensed the doubt coming from myself, Botan, or one of my friends.  Was it _I _who was doing the doubting?  Did I doubt Botan?  I couldn't dare to doubt her after all the things I had gone through to have her in my arms.  I needed her.  Or did I?

I sighed, deciding to ignore the confusing questions and merely enjoy the moments such as these.  I moved carefully out of bed without disturbing her.  Mother was coming home this afternoon.  I wanted everything to be in order.  I glanced at Botan, watching as she rolled across the bed to the side where I had slept.  I chuckled softly.  She must move quiet a bit when she sleeps.  Frankly I was surprised to find she didn't talk in her sleep.  Either she wasn't a talker, or I was too worn out from the entire day's events to notice.

"I didn't do my _homework_?!" I hissed in disgust.  I had lifted a pile of school newspapers and flyers to inspect them, only to find that a pile of books was hidden beneath.  I cursed silently to myself.  I had forgotten my homework.  Of course, I could always offer some sort of excuse to the teachers and give them a sheepish smile.  I would be allowed to make them up, but I was already running out of excuses from the countless missions I had gone on.  I had to come up with excuses for _those_.

"Kurama?  Are you actually _cussing_?  That's weird. I never heard you cuss before."

I raised my eyes to face my goddess.  Her hair was down to frame her face.  I grinned at how innocent and helpless she looked with her mussed hair and how simple the style was compared to her usual ponytail.

She frowned and narrowed her eyes at me.  "What are you smiling at?  Do I look funny or something?"

"Yes, in fact, you do."  I sat down on the floor to shuffle through my homework, hoping that I had actually done all of it.  I usually did my work ahead of time to make up for the losses that would occur incase of a sudden mission.

"What's that?"

"Homework.  I think I may have forgotten to finish it in the heat of things."  I sighed impatiently at the unorganized clutter.

"Sheesh, for someone who's supposed to be clever, you aren't very organized, are you?" she replied, getting out of bed to sit by me.

"All great minds can't be perfect in every aspect," I replied simply, squinting through a notebook then at a chart for physiology.  

"I can organize it for you."

I looked up at her when I heard the suggestion.  "That would be a bother, wouldn't it?"

"No, Lord Koenma has me doing the filing for Reikai when I'm not grim reaping.  Your human homework should be a little easier compared to the files we have on demons."

"Could you really do that while I clean things up?  My human mother comes home today.  I don't want to bother her with the messes I made."  I gazed at the pile of crumpled papers I had made when I had to help come up with designs for a thespian flyer.

(A/n: thespian has more to do along the lines of drama or acting)  

"I can do it, piece of cake!  I'll do it for you, anyway.  I get sick and tired of doing it for Lord Koenma. _'No Botan, if it says that it killed two humans, you put it in the files with lesser offenses!'_ It's confusing!"  She smiled at me after doing the impression of the toddler prince.  "Are you going to introduce me to your mother or shall we wait?"

I considered it.  If the doubt I had sensed was truly coming from me, having Botan and mother get on better terms with one another, it wouldn't be prudent.  "Botan, I would rather we wait.  Mother has been ill for so long, I don't want her to worry about having to get to know you better.  Not that I am embarrassed of you, it's just going to put more on her mind than she'll need at a time like this."  I looked imploringly at her.  "Am I making sense?"

"Yeah, that's okay.  I'll just go hang around with Yusuke or the rest while you get your mother all comfy-cozy!"  She put her arms around my neck, hugging me.  I held her, feeling her warmth and breathing in her scent.

"Thank you," I said softly.

**~~At Noon~~**

"Suichi, how long did it take you to get the house this clean?" my human mother asked.

"Not too long," I said cheerfully.  It had taken me an hour or so to make it clean enough to be acceptable in her eyes.  She was gripping my arm tightly.  She hobbled into the living room and beamed at me.

"It's spotless, dear.  You didn't have to do that for me."

"Yes I did.  I didn't want it to look like a pigsty when you returned.  I didn't want you to clean after me when I was perfectly capable of doing it myself."

"You'll spoil an old woman by doing this.  You're supposed to make me do things for you.  What kind of mother would I be if you did everything for yourself?"

"A happy one. Now relax today.  Can I get you anything?"  I helped her to sit on the sofa.

"No, no, I'm fine."  She smiled at me.  It hurt me to see that she seemed so much older from the last time I had seen her.  Humans aged so quickly.  Once they reach their peak, they slowly die. "Tell me about your date with that girl you spoke about.  How was it?"

"I had a good time."  I wasn't going to tell her of the small details.

"That's nice to hear."  She patted my hand and stopped suddenly.  I watched as she pulled my sleeves back to reveal the gauze wrapped around my wrists.  My cuts hadn't healed quite yet.  Yukina could have had them healed instantly, but she seemed to want to avoid me after what I had done. Another pang of guilt assaulted me.

"What happened?" she gasped, touching the gauze.

I pulled my arm out of her grasp and tugged my sleeve back down.  "Just an accident," I lied quickly.  "I was going to trim the rose bushes, but you know I'm a little clumsy.  I cut myself with the shears."

She winced.  "That must have hurt.  Let me see it."

"I'd rather not.  It's nearly healed, Mother.  Don't worry over it."

She said nothing.  I felt her study me with her motherly suspicion and love.  "So, when can I meet this girlfriend of yours?" she said, changing the subject to something a little more personal.

"When I get a chance to.  We're both a little busy with things."

She beamed.  "Ah, so now you _do_ have a girlfriend.  How lovely.  Whenever you get a chance, invite her to dinner sometime."

"Y-yes, Mother."  

__________________________________________________****

I walked down the lane to go to Kuwabara's house where Botan was supposed to be.  I knocked on the door.  Shizuru answered the door.

"Oh, you're that boy that's friends with my little bro," she said, scratching the tip of her nose.  "Kazume's out right now."

"Is he?" My heart fell.  "I was looking for Botan and Yukina.  Any chance that they're still here?"

"Botan went with the guy about this high."  She held her hand about waist high.  "She said that they were going to take a walk."  She shrugged and looked at the sky. "I would too.  It's a nice day."  She looked at me.  "Why aren't you out enjoying the air?"

"I am," I said a little too defensively.  I noted a smirk on her face.  "Thank you, though," I said quickly.  "Have a good afternoon."

She closed the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts.  Botan was alone with Hiei.  Either that or Kuwabara was with them as well.  I bit my lower lip.  No, I knew Hiei and Botan well enough.  True, they were full of surprises, but I felt something wrong.  I needed to know whether the doubting feelings I had yesterday were mine or of someone else.

I bent over, my hands on my knees.  I was breathing heavily from running for over an hour.  I looked around my surroundings.  My intuition had taken me to this forest.  I hadn't been here in a long time.  I used to play here as a child, trying to control Youko away from my mother so she wouldn't be harmed.

"Hiei, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I have Kurama.  I mean, he worked hard just for _me_ and you . . .you just ignored me when I tried to tell you I liked you.  Now that Kurama's with me, it's like you just _now_ decide to love me.  What's the sense in that?"

That was no doubt, Hiei and Botan talking to each other.  What were they doing here?

"I didn't realize it until I saw you kissing him," Hiei's voice said, strained as if he was trying to keep an outburst down.  "I didn't believe that you could possibly care for a cold-hearted orphan like me.  It would be too . . .too good to be true."

I moved silently behind them with practiced grace.  Of course Hiei would be the first to sense me, if he was alert of his surroundings.

Hiei continued with his thoughts.  His voice was uncharacteristically soft, unlike his usual harsh demeanor. "Even though I could read your thoughts, I just ignored it.  It was just my stupid imagination.  Then I saw you and Kurama.  I can see that you like him, but is it because you thought I hated you and wanted to make me jealous, or is it just because he was there to take you out of your misery, or . . .do you truly not care for me anymore?"

My eyes widened at the question.  I was blind to the obvious yet again.  I knew something was wrong with Botan suddenly allowing me to mark her when she had specifically stated that it was Hiei who she had cared about.  What _was_ the reason for her sudden interest in me?

Botan sat quietly.  A strand of grass was being twisted between her slender fingers.  "I-I don't know," she said softly.

"Can you forgive me?  Can you love me again?  I'll be good to you.  Please, Botan," Hiei pleaded.  His hand reached out to stroke her back.

Botan's head bowed, her eyes closed.  "I wanted to hear that for so long, but now . . ." She sighed sadly.  "I'm so confused over this, Hiei, don't make it worse for me."

"Just think about it."  I saw Hiei lean over, his face close to hers.  I bristled.  I knew what he was trying to do.  Anger boiled over in my blood.

Youko burst to life, taking over my human form, allowing me to share his demon body.  Hiei jerked suddenly.  He sensed Youko's abnormally high Reiki.  He turned and saw me.  He nearly fell over in surprise.

"Kurama!  What the hell are you doing here?" he asked.

"The question is _yours_ to answer," I replied.  It was more like _Youko_ replied, since he was my angry emotion in body.  "I'm pretty pissed off at the two of you."  _That_ was more along Youko's word usage.

"Kurama, you have to understand," Botan said, her eyes glittering imploringly.

"I understand this better than you think.  For once, my eyes are actually _open_.  I'm not walking around in a cloud of self-pity like I've been doing for the past month.  My eyes are _open!_ Do _you_ understand _that_?"  I felt Youko's thrill at finally being able to vent out his anger, even though it was my words.  His anger was backing my words.  No wonder Botan was quivering in fear and Hiei was watching me closely.

"You, Botan, still care for Hiei.  I was just something to take your mind off of it.  You _used_ me, just as I had unintentionally used Yukina in my moment of selfishness and self-pity.  She won't forgive me, but she's still able to face me.  As for me, I'm far less forgiving.  I have gone through a mental hell for you, yet you just throw me aside like a used rag doll," I said in a quavering tone.  I was trying to keep the anger at a minimum, but in my stage and in Youko's body, I wasn't able to do much.

Botan shook her head.  "No, it's not that.  I'm just so confused over this! Yes, I liked Hiei, but I care for you now.  B-but Hiei just now comes to me and. . . and. . ."  She buried her face into her hands.  "I-I just don't know!  You're screaming at me, just making it worse!  I wasn't trying to betray you or anything like that!"

"Feh, so you _love_ me, do you?" I snapped—_Youko_ snapped.

She nodded, peeking up at me, wondering what I was going to do next.

"Then say it."

"Say w-what?"

"Say you love me and not Hiei.  Come on, do it.  Let him listen and have him keep these thoughts in his mind."

"Kurama, please, just calm down first!  You're scaring me," she pleaded.

"_SAY IT! NOW._"  Somehow I was now in front of her.  The trademark Death Plant snaked out, reacting to my Reiki.  They wrapped around Botan, pinning her painfully against the tree.  "Say it.  It's only three words: I love you.  Simple."

"Y-your hurting me!  Please put me down."

My eyes narrowed at her.  "I can say it.  Why can't you?  It isn't that hard.  Look, Botan, I love you and I would do anything for you, but if you _do_ care for me, why can't you say it?"

"Kurama, put her down.  You're going to give her a heart attack," Hiei yelled.

"You! Stay away!  You're the one who started it!  If you had listened to me when I told you, none of this would have happened.  You'd be with her and I'd be out of the picture.  You have to stay and listen to this!" I spat.

"You're going to far, damn you!"

"Shut up!"  I struck out at him, knocking him away.  I managed to leave a large gash across his neck unintentionally.  He fell to the ground, clutching his neck.  He summoned his Reiki to try and heal it well enough to survive the blow.  Unfortunately, he was no good at using Reiki to heal.  He only used it to kill.

I wanted to stop this madness.  Botan wasn't worth Hiei's death, nor did I want her to be afraid of me if she truly cared, but I couldn't control it.  Once Youko's anger was unleashed, the course had to be completed.

My attention returned to Botan.  "Say it.  We can play this all night.  I have the patience.  Either you say you love me, or you don't love me.  Only then can you leave."  My voice wasn't quavering with anger now.  It was at the soft monotone that must have felt worse than being screamed at.  I could see Botan flinching and tears coursing down her cheeks.  I felt part of me soften at her helplessness. 

"Botan . . ." I murmured powerlessly.  Youko pushed the weakness aside and led me to push against Botan.  Her lips were against mine in a crushing move.  The kiss deepened without any retaliation from her.

"I love you, Botan.  Say it back to me."  I pulled away to study her face.  Her head was bowed and her eyes were closed.  Had she passed out?

I nipped her neck, drawing blood.  Her head jerked up as she cried out in pain.  "Yes, cry out.  If you can't answer a simple question, you deserve the pain.  Go ahead and cry out—it's invigorating."

I watched her bite her lip.  She was too weak from the mental stress I had forced upon her.  Youko was excited enough to rip further at her neck.  He forced me to press my lips against the wound and allow the coppery tasting liquid into my mouth.  I kissed her again, more roughly this time. 

It was a horrible sight to withhold.  The problem was I seemed to be enjoying this.  An evil part of me told me that she deserved this for doing what she did to me.

"You'll learn, human," Youko replied for me.  He smirked at Botan, not worrying that her blood was dripping from his lips to spot the snow-white robe he and I now shared.  "Answer the simple question or I'll rip your lungs out while you're still alive."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Now you know where the doubt came from!  If you don't, here's the answer:  It was coming from Botan.  She wasn't really sure if she totally could totally forget Hiei and completely love Kurama when Hiei was who she liked first.**

**Or, if you think it was from Kurama, you could be right too.  He was sort of doubting her because he knew it was kind of too good to be true for her to say she loved him after all the things he went through.**

**So, I leave it at yet another cliffhanger.  I'm such an evil person, aren't I?  Review and another chapter will be up soon.  I think I typed too much. This is like 6 pages!**

**NOTE: Since today was a snow-day for me, I think I'll get another chapter to My Assassin, My Dark Angel.  Read that if you want to, but I'm not forcing anything. **


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything!  Flames R accepted.  

**Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=**

I think you know who's POV this is by now, right? 

**=^.^= ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ =^.^=**

I couldn't fight Youko's thrill at being free to continuously slice at this woman I treasured.  I wanted to, but I felt so horrible inside, that I could only watch her exile at my expense.__

The scent of pain was thick in the air.  It smothered me.  How could Youko stand it?  How could anyone not smell it, as I was able to? It was maddening.  Still, I felt helpless.  A part of me _still_ felt that Botan deserved this for not being completely open with me.  I was merely a weak fool at the fox demon's hands-a puppet to kill these people.

She cried out as Youko made me bite deeper into her neck.  I cringed.  I was killing the two people closest to me.  I couldn't let something stupid as this ruin my life, though it already had.

"Kurama," she gasped after Youko stepped back to admire his handiwork.  "I-I can't love you for doing this to me and Hiei." Her voice was weak.  "You're killing us . . . Why?  Why are you doing this?  Please, just stop this."

My heart fell.  Youko growled and pushed the bit of me that came to the surface aside.  I pushed him harder.  I managed to gain control long enough to slip back into my human form.

I fell to my knees, struggling to maintain control against Youko's instinct-an instinct that screamed _kill! Kill! Kill!_

The throb of adrenaline pulsed painfully in my head.

Kill! Kill! Kill! 

_"STOP IT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"_ I screamed, clutching my head as Botan had done when she had caught the Living Death.  

Botan fell to the ground at the base of the tree.  Without Youko's Death Plant to hold her up, she had no support to stay against the tree.  I couldn't move to catch her.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noted that she didn't move when she fell.  Her body bounced once, and then there was no movement.  From the other end of my peripheral vision, I saw that Hiei also lay with no movement.  A small pool of blood had collected around his neck.

Youko was pushing me to try and take control again.  He wanted to finish the gruesome job he had begun.

_"No!"_ I screamed at him.  I pushed him further; trying to make him the way he was prior to this-the evil conscious that spoke to me.  With each push, my Reiki grew.  Soon I was aware that the trees and bushes were shuddering from the Reiki I was emitting.

"You want her to pay!" Youko hissed.  "You _want_ her to die!  I can tell!  I _am_ stronger than you!  Lets finish her off together!"

_"Shut up!"  _I yelled back at him.  _"There's no way I'm letting you finish this off!"_

"Fight it, fox," I heard someone whisper. I think it was Hiei that whispered it.

I could feel Youko's stubborn will fight against mine.  I wasn't going to make it.  He was too strong . . . I heard him laugh triumphantly, knowing that I was rapidly weakening against his strength. There wasn't a possible chance that I could fight him and win.

"Kurama . . ."

Was that Botan's voice?  _For her_, I said to myself without a second thought.  I had to do this for her, if not myself.  I rammed his will and voice away with as much force as I could muster.  My head felt as if it was going to split open with the pressure of two half-souls fighting against each other in one body-that of a fox demon and that of a human.  I gritted my teeth, nearly backing down against the blinding pain.  I ignored it and continued pushing Youko, shoving him, compressing his will down pact to the point of even more excruciating pain.  My head seemed to explode.

Then there was nothing.  After that, I don't remember exactly how I got here.

~*~**Present day** ~*~

(A/N: that means that Kurama's story was all in the past leading up to now, k?  This is still Kurama's POV so don't worry!)

I heard Botan's voice calling me.  At least I think that's her voice.  I _craved_ for it to be her voice, full of forgiveness.  Of course, that's far too much to ask after I had been so weak to fight against myself.  I moved over to one side of whatever I was lying on without opening my eyes.  I didn't want to face anyone after what I had gone through and lost.

"Kurama, I know you're awake."  Yukina's shy and gentle voice broke me out of my miserable thoughts.

I cringed slightly at the voice and made my eyes close tighter against her voice.  I didn't deserve forher forgiveness either.  I felt her hand on my shoulder.  I finally sat up and looked into her ruby eyes so reminiscent of Hiei's.  "I'm sorry.  For everything," I said to her.  My voice sounded strange to my ears.

She smiled at me and shook her head.  "You're never going to learn, are you?  I told you.  I can't hate you no matter what you do.  Even if you nearly killed me, I couldn't hate you."

I gave her a faint smile.  "I wish that Botan could say the same."

"I don't know what she's thinking, Kurama.  Talk to her."

I blinked stupidly at her.  "T-_talk_ to her?  I don't think she'd even want to see my face."  I paused.  "Then, that means she's alive.  What of Hiei?"

"He's fine.  You didn't get too deeply into his neck.  He was just playing dead so you won't kill him."  She sighed and put her hands on my arm to tug me bit by bit out of the bed.  "Just talk to her."

"I nearly killed her, Yukina!" I exclaimed.  "If I hadn't pulled Youko away from it just in time, I would have killed her for sure!"

"Not to mention not having to pass out in front of Yusuke and the rest," she added.  A teasing grin teased the corner of her lips.

I threw my hands up involuntarily in a sarcastic gesture.  "And I wouldn't have made a fool of myself either," I reiterated in an agitated tone.

"That was nearly a week ago.  Talk to her.  Maybe she cooled down by now," she suggested.

I grimaced at the thought.  "What if she won't forgive me?  Or worse-ignores me?"

"At least you tried."

I suppose you couldn't have beaten that logic.  I sighed and stood up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I guess you'll have to see the next chapter. This wasn't all that exciting, but I had a mild writer's block. I'M SO SORRY!  Please review and I'm really sorry that this chapter was boring and short!

^.^


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything!  Flames R accepted.  

**Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=**

I think you know who's POV this is by now, right? 

**=^.^= ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ =^.^=**

_I tried so hard_

_And got so far_

_But in the end it doesn't even matter_

-LINKIN PARK (Hybrid Theory ~ In the End)

I noticed that I was in Yusuke's house.  I noted the posters of girls on the wall from magazines, the titles of which were far too suggestive for me to want to pry deeper.  I glanced at Yukina to avert my embarrassed gaze at the graphic pictures.

(A/N: What you think the pictures are is probably true. Let your imagination tell you what it is.  Just remember that Yusuke is a typical teenage boy with raging hormones.)

"These don't bother you?" I asked, partly needing a reason to stall my meeting with Botan.  I knew what the outcome would be.  Why _not_ prolong the inevitable?

Yukina blinked and looked at the poster.  She looked away and gave me a curious look.  "He's a human boy.  It'd be weird if he didn't have those, right?  Why?  Do they make _you_ feel uncomfortable?"  Her eyes seemed to probe my thoughts.  That was too much like Hiei for me to feel comfortable.

"Erm . . .I was just wondering," I murmured.  I didn't know how to respond to that.  If I said that it didn't, she'd find me to be like a typical human adolescent.  If I said that it did, she would begin to question my masculinity despite the proof that I wasn't to be swayed.  Then again, why was I so worried about what she thought about me?  Was I afraid that the things we discussed would be relayed to unreliable ears?

"You're stalling," she noted in a low voice.  A clouded look passed over her eyes momentarily.  

"S-stalling?"  It was amazing that she seemed to read my thoughts.  She didn't possess a Jagan eye.  At least not to my knowledge. 

"You don't want to meet Botan, but in a way you do.  I think you're afraid of what she's going to say."

I stood in silence.  "Yes."  It took forever to allow myself to say even that.  "I don't know why," I added.  My voice came out choked when I said that. 

She sighed deeply.   "You want to know what I think of her?  I think that . . ." She stopped.  Her ruby eyes widened in shock of what she almost said.  Her hands were cupped over her mouth.  She shook her head suddenly.  "No, never mind.  Please, just go."

"What were you going to say?"

"It's nothing.  Really."

"I can't say it.  It isn't nice."

I cocked my head to study her.  Not nice?  Yukina thinking things like _that_?  It was a rare thing—a rare thing indeed.  "If you put it _that_ way, then you _must_ tell me," I insisted.  "Who would I tell?"

"Kazume.  Hiei.  Maybe even Botan if things work out for you."  The last sentence was spoken with a hint of venom that was quickly covered by her gentle shyness.

I opened my mouth to reply but quickly closed it.  It wasn't right of me to force her.  The last thing I needed was for her to be worked up over something avoidable.  "That's fine.  I'll be on by way then, shall I?"  I gave her a brief nod and turned to leave.

"No, I-I'll tell you.  Just don't tell anyone no matter what, okay?"  Her eyes burned into mine so imploringly that it made me stop and think.  I nodded quickly. 

 "Okay then," she replied and wrung her hands in a nervous motion.  "W-what I was thinking was this.  I know that you love Botan but you did so much for her and she won't stand by you."  She seemed afraid of the words that came from her mouth. "I mean, I don't know how she'll react after . . .after what you did when Youko took over.  You deserve someone who'll forgive you for everything and be loyal to you like you've been doing to Botan.  I-I'm not saying that _I'm_ that perfect person.  I'm far from it, but . . .but that's just what I was thinking."  She stopped and seemed to reconsider her words.  "Don't take it too seriously.  I'm just talking gibberish."  She blushed and lowered her eyes to her lap.

The selfish part of me _had_ thought those similar thoughts, filling me with dread.  I pushed the thoughts that agreed with her away.  I walked towards her and laid a hand on her shoulder.  "It wasn't gibberish.  Don't put yourself down.  Thank you for telling me, though."

She nodded briefly.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It took the better part of an hour to pinpoint Botan's location.  My mind and senses weren't as powerful as they had been.  They were now just fragile windowpanes that had shattered with the happenings lately.

"Suichi!  You haven't been to school in a long time!"

Wonderful.  A female. A _human_ female at that.  Could things get worse?  Of course they could.

I continued to walk, choosing to pretend as if I hadn't heard the giggling voices.  

"Suichi?  Oh, maybe he can't hear us.  Let's catch up!"  Their footsteps followed me to the corner of the street.  I had to stop for cars to pass by.  I waited anxiously for the light to change so I could cross the street.  Luck wasn't my best attribute.  The girls caught up with me.  They clutched their purses shyly; flashing me what they thought was an undeniably attractive look.

"Hi Suichi!  Are you feeling better?" one girl asked.  She was blonde.  That's the most I could allow myself to take in.  I averted my eyes.

"Pardon?" I asked, trying to keep my voice low and polite.

"They said you were sick.  Are you okay now?"

"Not completely, but I'm feeling better. Sort of."  Urgh! I blurted 'sort of' out without thinking.

"Huh?  Sort of?"  The blonde gave her friend a look.  The two of them shared a smile and jumped me at the same time.  Both their arms went around me in a pincer-tight grip, crushing my already weakened body.  I didn't have the energy to throw off two perfectly healthy females off of me.

"We'll be your nurses!  We can play doctor!" the friend squealed.

Why did that sound too suggestive for my own good?  I had disturbing visions of myself sitting on the bed with nothing but a bath-towel to hide my body.  I shuddered involuntarily.

"You're such a cutie!  I'm going to make you supper right now!  Come on!"

With the last ounce of willpower I owned that was sane, I threw them off and ran for my life.

"Suichi!  Where are you going?!" 

I ignored the voices and stopped once I reached the corner of the next street.   I closed my eyes briefly and concentrated on calming my thudding heart.  I slowed my breathing to a slower rate and took in the scents around me.  My brow furrowed as I sorted them out.  I smelled the fast food restaurant on the next block and the hundreds of humans.  I separated the human scents, testing each one.  At last I found Botan's scent and followed it blindly, not caring if I ran into someone or not.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Botan?"  I spoke to the motionless figure that sat in front of a river.  Her slender shoulders rose up, hopefully not in fear of me.  I inched towards her.  My hands were deep in my pockets, afraid that my touch would frighten her away.

"Botan?  Please talk to me," I begged silently.

She said nothing and continued to sit stationary before the rush of clear water.  Her arms were wrapped around bent knees close to her chest.   I sat beside her.  "Botan?" I repeated.

"Go away," she murmured in a flat tone.  She wrapped her arms tighter around her legs.   "Please, just go."

The monotone pained me more than anything else she could have done.  I'd rather have her screaming at me than . . .than _this_.  But I _did_ deserve it, did I not?  My hands clenched into fists.  

_'Look at this.  No respect for you.  Kill her here and now,'_ Youko commanded.

_No,_ I snapped at him.  I focused my attention once more to Botan.  "Why do you want me to go away?"

Her hand went to the junction of her neck and shoulders, rubbing absentmindedly at the place Youko had ripped into.  I noted a scar after she lowered her hands.  What Youko had done must have been much deeper than what Yukina's amazing healing techniques could do to fix it completely.  

"Because.  You can't control yourself," she continued in the same trance-like monotone.  She glanced at me for a moment.  I noted a semi-glazed over look in her amethyst eyes.  I reached for her and pulled away in a nervous reflex.  "I can control _myself,_" I corrected slowly.  "It's Youko I can't control sometimes.  It wasn't me ripping your esophagus out.  Not completely, anyway."  I frowned.  That wasn't the best way to put it.

"Just go away so I can think."

"What are you thinking about?"  

She shook her head and continued staring across the river.  Her body looked so tense, it was amazing to me to see how her muscles didn't contract and paralyze her.

(A/N: I doubt if that can happen . . .or maybe it does? I dunno!)

I drew enough courage to place my hands on her shoulders.  I pressed my thumbs lightly below her shoulder blades to use a calming technique I had mastered.  I first used it to loosen my opponent's muscles so much that they resembled only blobs of jelly.  I had lowered the amount of energy used to kill to only calm.  Her shoulders lowered and relaxed.  Her eyes closed and her head drooped.  I watched in amazement how I was able to make her look alive compared to the zombie-like stage she had been in.

I kissed the graceful arch of her neck.  I felt her body stiffen at my touch.  "Shh," I murmured quietly, kissing her cheek.  I moved my hands from her shoulders and wrapped my arms around her, taking needed comfort from her body.  She relaxed again and seemed to melt against me.

For a moment, I felt that I had her.  I _felt_ that she belonged to me again.  Her eyes opened suddenly.  She struggled against my grip and pulled away.  She touched her forehead and cheek.  "Oh, Kurama," she whispered.  "I _want_ to kiss you."

"Then why did you pull away?" I demanded in hurt confusion.  

"Because.  Because."  She repeated this in a slow, thoughtful chant.  She stood up and gazed at the river once more.  "I'm just confused.  I don't know what to do with myself."

"About . . .what, exactly?"  I wasn't a psychic.  I'm not going to _pretend_ like I knew what she was thinking.

"You."  She paused and added in an afterthought, "and Hiei."

"What do you mean by that?!"  I stood up.

"You know what I mean!"  She buried her angelic face into the sanctuary of her hands.  "You saw what happened in that forest."

"What I did wasn't intentional," I insisted.

"Not _that_.  You heard what Hiei said and you know how you feel about me.  I don't want to have to choose between you.  Your friendship will be ruined."

I stared at her in awe.  I had never thought of it _that_ way.  She was right.  She obviously gave this quite a bit of thought.  "Oh," was all I managed to say.

She nodded.  "Now you see what I mean?  It isn't as easy as it looks.  Sure, I can say 'Hiei, I like you better' or 'Kurama, you're the one,' but one of you will walk away feeling bad.  I don't want _that_ kind of responsibility!"

"But, you _must_ decide one way or another," I replied evenly.  "If you don't, Hiei and I will fight over this without end until you do."

"I know," she moaned.  "I'll think of something and get to you two tomorrow."  She gazed sadly at me.  "I'm sure there's something I can do to make this a fair trial for both of you."  She took my hand briefly and turned to leave.

I watched her leave, feeling dread well up within me.  I swallowed and turned to leave as well.  I felt the sudden rush of wind and a familiar Reiki.

"Fox, I want to talk to you about Botan."

"What's there to talk about?" I asked, continuing to walk.

"We will decide who gets her.  Right here, right now.  You're not going to walk out on this," Hiei said, his arms crossed comfortably across his chest.

I stopped, knowing that he would pursuit me if I continued to walk.  "What is your proposal on this, then?" I said with a reluctant sigh.

He reached for his katana and drew it out.  He held it up.  The sun's rays filtered through the trees made the blade glint.

"Hiei!" I exclaimed.  "You're not going to _kill_ me over this, are you?"

He said nothing and continued to burn into me with his ruby eyes.

----------------------------------------------------

**It's a cliffie again!  This is probably another boring chapter, isn't it? * sigh * Pretty please review and wait for the next chapter!**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything!  Flames R accepted.  

**Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=**

I think you know who's POV this is by now, right? 

**=^.^= ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ =^.^=**

"Hiei, be reasonable!" I exclaimed, backing away from him.  I didn't want to get into a fight with my closest friend.  "It isn't prudent to kill someone over this!"

He smirked.  He sheathed his katana and crossed his arms once more.  "Pity.  I was hoping to get more out of you.  You only backed away.  You've got blood lust somewhere under your skin.  I've seen it."

I gaped at him, lost for words.  "Did…I just miss something here?"

"I wasn't going to kill you over a girl.  That's stupid and a waste of time.  It would also dull my blade for no reason at all.  You aren't worth my katana."

I wasn't sure whether to take that last sentence as an insult or a complement.  Nevertheless, I was glad that Hiei was only joking rather than honestly wanting to kill me.  "You said you wanted to talk to me about Botan," I said to change the subject.

"Yeah.  I was going to tell you this as soon as you woke up but you left before I could."

"What is it?"

"So you know that she's trying to figure out how to be with you without making me feel bad," he continued.

"Me? If she didn't like you as well, I doubt this would have gotten this far.  She still has feelings for you."

"Hn.  Maybe she should forget her feelings about me."  He frowned thoughtfully and gazed up at the trees.

"Are you _letting_ me have her?  Intentionally?  Don't you care for her as well?"

"I don't get a say in this," he replied in a flat tone.  He sighed and held my gaze.  "You already marked her, whether Youko took over your better senses or not in the process of doing so—_she's still marked_."

I fought the urge to look away.  "So what."

"_So what_?!  You're about as stubborn as me.  No matter _what_ she decides, she belongs to you.  Even if she gave her life to the spirit detective, she'd still belong to you and you'd belong to her.  You see?  I wouldn't have a say."

"Yes you would," I mused.  "She could be with you and forget me.  She could forget that she 'belonged' to me."

"That's just it.  You never had this kind of thing happen to you.  There would be some kind internal voice that nags at you to remind you of the person you belong to."

I gave him a smile.  "How would you know of this nagging voice?  Has this happened to you before?"

"No.  I have _this_ remember?"  He pointed a finger to his Jagan eye hidden beneath his headband.  "I've been in some of the demons' minds and saw what they've been thinking.  Pity that it doesn't matter anymore—those that I know of are dead by my hands."

"Mm," I muttered distractedly.

"My point is this: I'm giving to give in and let you be with each other.  I'll just be the abandoned child again."

"Don't take it that way if you must do this," I exclaimed. 

"I can take this anyway I want to," he retorted. He began to walk off.  "You're always optimistic.  Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm the complete opposite of you."  He disappeared with the help of his speed.

I bit my lip.  Maybe he was right.  I _did_ mark her, but what if she didn't want me to be in her life?  What if Hiei was really the one she cared about and was only saying those things to make me feel as if I had a chance?

Heh, me optimistic, eh?  I don't know where he got that idea.  I was as pessimistic as he was—perhaps _more_ than he was.  I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked home.  I didn't need Mother to worry over me when she had just gotten over her illness.

"Suichi?  Where've you been?" my human mother asked.

"To take a walk," I replied.  "I'm sorry.  I should have told you.  Here."  I lay a few roses in my mother's lap.  I had gathered them from the garden and stripped them of their thorns.

"What…what are these for?" 

"To give to you.  I'm sorry for everything I've done to you," I murmured.

"You haven't done a thing to me, dear. Are you feeling ill?"  She felt my forehead.  "No, you're temperature is fine."

"I'm not ill.  I've just done a lot of things in my life that I regret."

"You're still young.  You're going to make mistakes.  How else will you learn?"

I shook my head in an answer and returned her smile.  "When was the last time I said that you were turning into a handsome young man?" she continued.

"Just now, Mother."

She chortled and kissed my cheek.  "What would you like for dinner?"

"I can cook something.  You can relax."

"No, I'm going to cook!  I'm your mother.  I should be doing this for you!"  

I watched with a pained expression as she stood up and hobbled into the kitchen.  "Shall I help you prepare?" I asked.

"No!  You just sit in there and act lazy for a change.  Think about yourself, not me!" she called between clanks of pans.

I didn't want to think of myself.  The one thing I wanted was only mine because I had lost myself in the heat of passion.  I wonder …I wonder if Botan had simply lost herself as well or had her mind been elsewhere? Yes, thinking of myself wasn't as easy as Mother made it sound.  I picked up the roses.  I went into the kitchen to get a glass vase.

"Suichi!  I told you that I could do this alone!" Mother exclaimed in amused exasperation.

"Yes, but the roses will wither away without water," I explained and held up a rose.

"I'll do it.  You're spoiling me if you don't let me work.  What would your father say if when he sees a fat, out of shape woman when I meet him in heaven?  I'm already growing too old!  Now shoo!"  She ushered me out of the kitchen after taking the roses from my hands.

"The food's ready, dear!" Mother called an hour or so later.

"Yes, Mother," I answered and stood to go into the kitchen.  The phone rang just as I was about to take a step further.  "I'll get it!" I announced.

I dashed to the phone stand near the front door.  "Hello?"

"Kur—erm, Suichi?"

"Yusuke?" I asked in alarm.  "How did you find my phone number?"

"I was beating the snot out of this brat who had his girl with him.  He threw his wallet at me and grabbed his girl's purse and threw that too.  A piece of paper fell out that had 'Suichi Minamino' written in bright pink and hearts all over it.  A number was on it and I decided to try it rather than walk."

I breathed in relief.  Nothing had happened.  "Oh, is that all?  If you want to talk about whatever it is, I'll have to call you back.  I'm about to eat."

"Yeah, but it's important!"

"Can it wait?"

"I don't know.  Lemmee ask," Yusuke muttered doubtfully.  I heard his voice move from the mouthpiece to the background.  There was an annoyed scream and Yusuke was back.  "Nope.  It can't wait.  Yep, it's _pretty_ important."

"Can you tell me quickly?" I asked hurriedly as I heard Mother call my name.

"Pacifier breath said something about Botan passing out in the middle of her job.  He's got her at Spirit World.  You up for a little trip?"

"She's ill?" I repeated.

"That's what I said.  Are you too busy?  Koenma thinks she might've had an allergic reaction to the ingredients that helped everyone get better.  Since you're the plant expert, he figured you could fix up an antidote."

"I'll be there as soon as possible."  I hung up before saying farewell.  "Mother, something came up.  A friend of mine is ill and they wanted me to stay with them through the night.  Forgive me, but I must leave quickly."

"That's terrible.  What is it?"

"I-I don't know just yet.  I appreciate you making me supper."

"Wait, you can take some with you."  She hurried into the kitchen and came back with a small bag.  "Here.  Be home soon.  If you need a ride home, here some money for a taxi."

"Thank you."  I took the unneeded money and left.  My life wasn't getting any easier as I had hoped.

* * *

**Yup, another boring chapter, but pretty please review!**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything!  Flames R accepted.  

**Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=**

I think you know who's POV this is by now, right? 

**=^.^= ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ =^.^=**

Botan was ill.

The words became the metronome that guided my steps as they pulsed in my thoughts.  I sighed inwardly.  I hoped that Botan wasn't allergic to the ingredients to the cure for the Living Death.  I didn't know an antidote right off the top of my thoughts.  If I couldn't find the antidote, she could die.  It would be my fault.

---------------

"Kurama!  It's about time!  What took you so long?!" Koenma demanded.

"I don't exactly have an oar I can ride to get to this point," I said breathlessly.  "Where is she?"

"Where's who?"

"Botan!"

"Down the hallway to your left."

I nodded briefly and followed his directions.  The room was dark.  I groped along the wall blindly, searching for the light switch.  At last I managed to find it and clicked it up.  I looked around the room.  Botan was hidden under the covers.  The blankets were over her head.

I swallowed nervously. I was in Botan's room.  Why did it give me a sense of unease?  "Botan?" I whispered.  It _came out_ as a whisper.  I tried it again. 

The lump of sheets shifted and I was able to see Botan's pale face.  "Are you…very ill?" I asked stupidly.

"I don't know.  It was fine this morning, but now…" She groaned slightly and rolled over to her other side.  "It just happened all of a sudden.  I was going to pick up this person to take across the Sanzu River and I passed out.  I don't even know how I got here."

I gazed at her sympathetically.  Poor thing.  I brought my hand to her forehead to test her fever.  I blinked.  There wasn't any unnatural warmth.  It was a normal temperature.  "Botan, you haven't got a fever.  You aren't faking this to get out of working are you?" I murmured thoughtfully.

"No, I don't feel fine.  I feel like I'm going to be sick but I don't have the energy to get up and be sick."  She said all of this in a tiny voice.

I pressed my fingers lightly to her throat.  Her pulse was normal as well.  If she had allergies to any ingredient in the cure for the Living Death then her pulse would be faster than normally.

_Kill her while she's suffering.  She deserves this for being so fickle in her decisions,_ Youko sneered at her via my thoughts.

_'No one deserves to be struck down during an illness,'_ I thought back at him irritably.  _'Except _you_, perhaps.'_

That would mean you would die as well, Youko retorted.  I can always take over some poor human's body while you're going to either Makai or Reikai.  Or maybe you'd go to Yomi.

(**A/N:** I think Yomi is a character off of YYH, but I'm not using it as a character.  In my mythology Yomi is the Land of Gloom.  I guess it's described as the depths of Reikai where Hiei's Dragon of the Darkness Flame comes from. {Yes, I'm ½ Japanese, people so that means I know these things and I'm not bullshitting})

I bit my lip in response to his words.  I knew that he could always return and take the form of some unlucky victim.  That's why I bear this burden as well as I can—so no one can know how hellacious my life is because of Youko.  I forced my thoughts back to something that mattered much more than myself.  Botan seemed to be in pain.  Her hand was clenching the pillow beneath her head.  "Where are you hurting?" I asked quickly.

She shook her head in response.

"What…what does that mean?  You _don't_ hurt?" 

She shook her head again and clenched the pillow tighter.  "I don't know exactly where I hurt.  I just feel really uncomfortable and nauseous."

I frowned at the words.  They made no sense to me, nor were they any help to me… or to her for that matter.  I reached to take her hand and quickly drew back.  Her hand was clammy.  I focused on her ki.  I raised an eyebrow. Her reiki was higher rather than lower like humans usually were when they were ill.  This was extremely strange.

"How's your mother?" Botan asked, breaking me out of my confused thoughts.  She was trying to strike a conversation.

"She's fine.  She wants to do the housework things for me.  She claims that I do far too much for her that I'm spoiling her."  I gave her a wry smile.  "Why do you ask?"

"No reason.  I'm glad to know that someone here treats you the way you deserve."

"What do you mean by that?  I don't deserve half of the nice things I've had happen to me.  Not that much of nice things have happened lately, but I'm grateful for my mother's health and that night when you…perhaps I'll stop while I'm ahead."  I felt my cheeks flush as my thoughts returned to the night Botan allowed me to mark her.  It seemed like such a long time ago.

Her amused smile was enough to brighten my gloomy mood.  "Yes, you probably should.  You wouldn't want to embarrass yourself, would you?"

"Of course not.  Not in front of you, anyway."

She giggled faintly and touched my hand as if she were deep in thought.  "I'm…glad you came."

"I beg your pardon?" I stuttered.  "Why?  I thought you wanted me to be far from you until you decided things for tomorrow…I suppose that since you're ill, it doesn't matter much now, does it?"

"Lord Koenma thinks I have an allergic reaction to something that you used to help save everyone," she said.  

I nodded in agreement.

"There's something to that, though.  No one would have an allergy to anything in the cure to the Living Death.  We—Lord Koenma and I—make sure that humans born won't be allergic to anything from Reikai that could save them.  That would count for me too."

"Perhaps you're an exception?  There are exceptions to everything whether we realize it or not."

"No," she rebutted in a flat tone.  "It's not an allergy problem.  It's something else.  You of all people should know that allergies with plants…or anything organic would make a person swell up.  I'm not swelling up.  I'm fine, but I still feel weaker."

I couldn't reply.  Somehow she had managed to assume a sitting position without my knowing.  Her hand was making a trail down my cheeks then through my hair.  I sat frozen at her bedside.  Her touch was still frightening to me despite the fact that she and I had made an internal bond.

"In these few hours, I've been able to think," she continued slowly.

I still was unable to reply.  It was amazing that something so simple as her touch was enough to keep me from moving.  I was sure that countless demons would love to have this advantage over me.  "W-what have you been thinking?" I murmured breathlessly.

She said nothing and continued to run her fingers through my hair.

Youko growled something unintelligible in my thoughts.

_'What?'_ I asked him.  I only got a snarl in response.  There was a sudden flash of heat and darkness.  I was now where Youko had been.  Youko had taken over.

_'What was that for?!'_ I screamed at him.

I can't let you take all the fun, can I?  As a demon, I'm a selfish being.  Heh, you of all people should know that by now.

Botan gazed at me…Youko…with a rapt expression on her beautiful face.  I felt myself smirk via Youko.  He made my arms move to pull her closer to me.  Her body tensed against my own.  Obviously she was still afraid of him…or me?

"I'm not going to hurt you," Youko replied for me, kissing her cheek softly.  "Even though you deserve it."  I groaned in frustration, knowing Botan wouldn't be able to hear me—the human side of Youko and me.  What he said wasn't the best thing to say.

Even so, her body relaxed.  My fingers ran a familiar course down her bare shoulders.  The oversize t-shirt she wore exposed her slender shoulders but nothing beyond that.  For that I was grateful.  At least I would be able to control Youko's animalistic impulses to an extent.  _Hopefully_…

I nuzzled her.  In a way, I felt silly.  I was acting like a kitten in her presence.  Youko…or was it me…was even _purring_.  Botan didn't seem to mind that.  She giggled and stroked my hair lightly.  I nudged her hand gently.  She smirked and scratched behind my ears…just as a human would do to a cat.  The sensation was incredible.  I had never felt anything as strange as this.  It was enjoyable, but at the same time it felt partially degrading.  I kissed her throat and purred with the rhythm of her pulse.

"Kurama…" Botan began.

My lips passed over hers, stopping her sentence passed the point of my name.  The kiss deepened.  I felt Botan pull away.  "No!  Stop!" she demanded, pushing me away.

Youko growled in protest and gripped her arms tightly.  Botan winced in pain.  I gazed at her as if hypnotized.  I cleared my thoughts away and struggled to regain control.  It was another mental war against myself.  My head began to throb painfully when I finally managed to return to my human form.  I let go of Botan's arms and clenched my hands into fists.  I stared down at them in disgust.

I had almost lost control again.  I _almost_ let Youko kill her again.  I closed my eyes tightly to fight back the tears of disgusted frustration.  So close.  If I had attempted to push Youko away a second later, it would've been too late.  I stood.  Why would Botan want anything to do with me when I was just going to kill her when I lost control?  It would happen often if Botan and I were meant to be.

"Kurama, stop," my deity begged.

"Why?  Aren't you afraid that I can kill you?" I replied flatly.

"Yes…but…" She stopped and gazed down at her bed.

"But _what_?"

"You're able to control Youko better now.  I saw it.  I _felt_ it."

I looked back at her.  "But…if I hadn't caught it just in time, I'm positive I wouldn't be able to talk to you this very moment."

"That doesn't matter.  I'm _alive_ and you controlled it."  She smiled.  "It doesn't matter, okay?"

I was lost for words.  "And if I _did_ kill you?"

"Then I'd be dead and there wouldn't be anything to fight against would there."

I faced her and smiled gratefully at her.  "Thank you for having confidence in me."

"I'm going to _have_ to have patience in you!  You're going to have to be stuck with me until one of us dies," she said matter-of-factly.

I stared at in her confusion.  "Explain what you mean to me slowly…in _English_, if you will."

She pouted.  "You're _making_ me say it, aren't you?  You aren't any fun."

"What do you…"

"I _love_ you Kurama.  It took me getting sick to figure it out.  I'm such a blonde," she said in a tiny voice.  She held out her hand for me to take it.

I took it and allowed her to lead me back to sit at the bedside.  "You choose me?  Over Hiei?" I reiterated.

"Yes."  She kissed me.  "Is it okay with you?"

"Hell yeah," I blurted out.  I noted what I said and blushed.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

She giggled.  Suddenly she winced.  "What's wrong with me?  Do you know?"

"I-I don't know.  This is out of my hands," I apologized.

"Maybe Yukina…will know," she suggested.

I nodded and dashed to tell Koenma to get Yukina over as soon as possible.

----------------------------------------------------

**Yep, folks, another cliffie.  If anyone can guess what's up with Botan, I'll give you cookies!  Okay, not really, but maybe you could let me just put your name up for everyone to know that you guess right…sounds dumb, doesn't it? * shrug *  Hopefully you enjoyed the semi-mushy parts! ^.^  Pretty please review!**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything!  Flames R accepted.  

**Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=**

I think you know who's POV this is by now, right? 

Geez, I can't believe so many people figured it out.  At least I know there are people who pay close attention to details as well as review!  Here's the people who got it right: (sorry if some are bold and some not.  My bold thingy always comes out wrong!)

Fire Rose, Dark Anime Chick, Botan and Kurama lover, and Ronnysama

Sorry if I missed any and sorry if I misspelled stuff!  Now here's the chapter!

**=^.^= ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ =^.^=**

I pulled restlessly at the loose threads from my jacket sleeve.  Yukina had come almost instantly after Koenma obeyed my request for her assistance.  She had taken one look at Botan and ushered me out the room, slamming the door behind her.

I gazed blankly at the stone floor.  That had been over two hours ago.  It _felt_ like an eternity to me, but my watch told me otherwise.  What was going on behind that door?  Was there anything I could do to help?  Had Botan died without my knowing?  I closed my eyes and took in the strange scents of Reikai to make sure.  No.  Botan was still alive.  Her scent still lingered in the air.  I opened my eyes again and gazed at the door.  Was Yukina ever going to leave the room?

For once, Youko had nothing to say—nothing at all. That was very unusual.  

_'Why aren't you speaking as you usually do?'_ I asked him, having nothing better to do

I got silence in response.  What does that mean?  I sat in silence for several more minutes.  Finally, I couldn't take it.  I stood up to knock on the door.

"Who's there?" came Yukina's muffled voice.

"Kurama.  Can't you allow me to enter the room even for a moment?  I'm becoming nervous.  No one has informed me of Botan's health for an hour…at least," I answered.

The door opened wide enough for Yukina's face to peek out.  "You can't see her until tomorrow morning.  You might as well go home.  I can have Kazume or my brother get you tomorrow if it's _that_ important to you."

"It's _more_ important than that!  I _must_ know how she is!  I'm not leaving until I find out what's wrong with her!"

Yukina avoided eye contact and looked back into the darkness where Botan must be somewhere.  "Let me see what Botan has to say about this okay?"

The door slammed closed in my face…yet again.  Even though the last of my patience was worn thin, I stood and waited.  My hands clenched into fists in my pocket.  I had an urge to break down the door and demand to know what was happening, but I respected Yukina for what she was doing for me…even though I had rejected her.  The door opened once more and Yukina looked up at me.

"I'm sorry, but Botan doesn't want you to know just yet.  You might be scared off.  I'm sorry," she repeated again and closed the door.  She had said that sincerely. 

I glared at the door.  What could be so wrong…so grotesque about Botan's illness that could scare _me_ off?  Hadn't I been a thief for a good portion of my previous life?  Hadn't I killed countless demons and humans without pausing to realize that butchering the living creatures was inhuman?  I had seen so many gruesome things in my life. Nothing that happened to Botan could scare me away.  Or…or could it?  Was there something that humans can have or do that I have yet to witness?

I turned my back on the door and began to walk.  I didn't know where I was going, but my feet were leading me somewhere.  

"What do you want?  This isn't your place to be here."

I looked at the owner of the voice.  I gave him a tired smile.  I didn't have the heart to give Hiei a real one.  "Are you saying that this is _your_ place to be here?"

He raised a shoulder in response.  "I don't have a place.  I just come here for the hell of it."

I looked around at the grassy place.  The sky looked endless.  A long sidewalk that seemed to be a road led on as far as I could see.  Countless types of flowers filled the air with a light perfume.

 "What _is_ this place, if you don't mind me asking?" I asked Hiei.

"I don't know.  I remember Botan telling me something about this place.  I remember her saying something about the spirits coming here to relax before being judged.  Even the condemned ones can come here to have a peaceful moment before they depart."  

I wasn't sure how to react to the darker aspects of Hiei's remark.  I changed the subject.  "The air here is different."

Hiei sniffed thoughtfully.  He obviously picked up the flowery scent.  "It smells girly but it calms my nerves.  Even with _my_ temper, it calms me."  He glanced up at me from his sitting position on the ground.  "What's wrong?" 

"I'll give you three guesses," I murmured.  I sat down and joined him on the ground.

He smirked.  "Botan."

"Exactly."

His smirk grew.  "No need to worry, Kurama.  There's a good reason as to why the women don't want to tell you what's wrong."

"Well, what is it?!  Yukina told me that Botan doesn't want me to know until tomorrow about what's wrong with her.  She said it would scare me away if I knew what was wrong," I exclaimed in frustration.

"Maybe it would.  I couldn't believe it at first but then I remembered that these things happen quicker when there is a demon involved.  He looked up from shredding a blade of grass.  "Maybe that's why it would scare you off.  If you knew without actual proof of it, you'd start to wonder if there was someone else involved.  You'd run off because you would think Botan wasn't being completely truthful to you.  You'd wonder if _I_ was involved."

"I wouldn't run off no matter what happens to her."  I paused and replayed the words in my thoughts.  "Hold on, you know about this?  And you haven't told me?"

"Hn.  It isn't my problem it's yours.  I was sworn to secrecy.  Besides…" He grinned.  "I can't have you have things spoon-fed to you.  You're the smartest one among us, you put the details I gave you together."

"I can't think right now!" I moaned and bowed my head.  "When something like this happens to you, I'm going to hide the truth as well."

"Go ahead.  Just remember that I have a Jagan eye, got it?"  He stood up and stretched.  "Now if you don't mind, I have some things to attend to and you need to go to sleep.  It'll help the time pass quickly."  He walked off with his hands buried beneath his cloak in a pocket I was never able to see.

"Easier said than done," I murmured.  I moved to assume a more comfortable position on the fluffy carpet of grass.  I dug in my pocket as I felt something move.  I pulled it out.  The food my mother had packed for me.  I put it away.  My thoughts drifted around to the things that had happened.  

The next thing I knew was morning.  The sun was shining brightly and my watch was flashing eight a.m.  I stood up and dashed to the door.  I knocked loudly, hardly daring to wait.  "Yukina!" I said repeatedly.

There were shuffling sounds and the door opened.

"Is it morning already?"  Yukina yawned and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.  I flashed her the time on my watch to insure her.  She bit her lip.  Suddenly she looked wide-awake.  "Alright.  Let me wake Botan up, then."

"No, let me look at her first.  I can wait until she wakes up," I said quickly.

Yukina nodded briefly.  "I'll leave you two alone, shall I?" she murmured shyly and left abruptly.  She closed the door behind her as she left.

Botan.  She looked so innocent.  Her silky azure hair fell around her on the pillows.  I smiled with a thoughtful silence.  I brushed a strand of her hair from her face.  Strange…she seemed to have been perspiring.  I took the damp towel that sat on the nightstand and dabbed at her cheeks.

My smile widened. She loved me.  She had actually _said_ it.  I couldn't feel any happier.

 Her lavender eyes fluttered open.  "Kurama?"

I nodded.  "Yes.  Now, please tell me what it is that would possibly scare me away?"

"Oh.  _That_."  She moved to sit up and fell back weakly.  "Are you sure you won't question my loyalty?"

"Loyalty…?  N-no, of course not."  I hadn't an idea of what she spoke of, but I couldn't bother with that idea at this moment.

Botan drew her slender arms around a bundle of silk.  I cocked my head at it.  What was it?  A mewling sound came from the center of it.  Botan patted the bundle and cooed to it.  "Shh, it's okay.  Daddy's right here, my love."  She kissed it gently and looked up at me.  Her cheeks were flushed with what looked like shy pride.

Daddy?  Had she said _daddy_?  It couldn't be possible.  I had only marked her a day or so ago…or more…or less. 

Her smile wavered.  "You…you don't believe me do you…" She sighed and held the child close.  "Just look at her.  Please."

I took the bundler…_her_ into my arms and pulled a layer of silk away from what must have been the face.  Ruby eyes peered up at me.  _Ruby_ eyes.  That wasn't possible.  My eyes were green, Youko's were a golden hue and Botan's were a lavender color. 

 "Botan…" I began.  "Ruby eyes?"  My heart felt as if it had been squeezed and rammed into my throat.  I swallowed.  She _said_ she loved me!  Were they only words?  Had Hiei been there before me?  Was I only a pawn to be toyed with in this horrible game of chess?

"Yes."  She sat up against a pile of pillows.  "Red eyes.  They're beautiful, aren't they."

"Botan," I tried again.

"Look at the rest of her.  She's not Hiei's.  I promise that."  She gazed at me imploringly.  "_Please_.  It's all I ask."

I swallowed once more and pulled the silk further away from the small face.  A gasp caught in my throat.  She was so small yet it had Botan's raving loveliness.  Spirit Fox ears were positioned on her head.  Those _had_ to be from Youko…and myself.  The azure hair she had inherited from Botan curled around the pointed ears and.  The small patch of bangs was stuck upwards the way my unruly hair did.  She was beautiful.  

Youko purred his response.  He was pleased with the results as well.

"She's beautiful, just like you," I said quietly.  Botan blushed at my remark.  "But, I don't understand how she could possibly be born so quickly," I added in confusion.

"You're a demon.  Demon children develop much quicker.  It helps them adapt faster and the mother won't have to be so helpless as long as a human mother does.  Didn't you know that?"

"I…I never thought about it this way," I admitted.  I touched my daughters nose ever so gently.  Her nose wrinkled in response.  She mewed something incoherent and gripped my finger.  She popped it into her mouth.  I grimaced and pulled my finger free.  "My hands aren't food," I said to her.

Botan giggled. "I'm glad you haven't run off."

"Run off?  Why ever would I do that?  This is my daughter, is it not?"

"It is, but since you've got Youko as your stronger side, you might ignore her and me.  That's what most demons do—abandon their children and find another mate."  She said this all in a small voice.  "I-I was afraid that if you found out yesterday before you had proof it was your child, you'd run away because you thought I've slept with Hiei or you'd run off because you didn't want the responsibility of fathering her."

"No.  It's my fault for putting you through the pain of bearing a child."  I kissed Botan's cheek.  "She's beautiful.  I won't let her live in a shadow without me…or you."

"That's right…she doesn't have a name yet.  I wanted you to have a say in naming her."

"I don't know.  This feels like one incredible dream.  I have a beautiful woman at my side and now I have an equally beautiful child.  It has to be a dream."

"_Yume_," Botan said.  "That's dream, isn't it?"

(a/n: yume means dream in Japanese.  It's pronounced yoo meh)

"Perhaps that wouldn't be the best," I said thoughtfully.  "It doesn't ring well."  My thoughts went over the countless names I had heard.

"Are you an angel?" 

The quote came out of nowhere.  Now who was it that said that…it was a small girl, but what was her name?  Yumeko!  I remembered perfectly now.  She was the burn patient I had met in the hospital.  She was such a sweet and innocent girl.

"We have Yume so far.  Why not make it Yumeko?" I said to Botan.  I felt that I owed the girl something for making me see that I was actually worth something that day when I had been in such a miserable mood.

"That sounds perfect!  Yumeko it is!"

"You gave the child a human name?  Typical."  Hiei's drawl echoed slightly in the large room.

"Would you like to hold her?" I asked cheerfully.  Nothing, not even Hiei's sarcastic remarks, could lower my spirits today.

"Hold…her?  A child?  _Your_ child?" he stuttered.  For a change he was lost for words.  He glanced at Botan for her approval.  Botan nodded.

Hiei took Yumeko with unusual care and gentility.  I watched in amazement as a smile spread across his face.  It was the smile he usually reserved for Yukina, but it was Yumeko who evoked this one—my daughter.  I felt my heart swell with pride.

_"Not _your_ daughter, human.  It belongs to the woman as well.  Remember that it was she who allowed her to enter the world," _Youko snapped irritably in my thoughts.

I nodded slightly.  Yes, he was right.  It was Botan and my daughter.  

All the things that had happened in the past and harmed me was now what it was—a thing of the past.  The time I mistook Botan's CPR for kissing Hiei was now a laughable memory.  This small miracle helped me see things.  I was now sure that _this_ was pure happiness.

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**Just to let you know, the next chapter will be shorter.  It will also be the last one!  Pretty please review!**


	23. Epilogue

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything!  Flames R accepted.  

**Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=**

I think you know who's POV this is by now, right? 

Yes, this is the last chapter.  * sigh * I think this was one of my best stories yet and I think the reviews prove it! Thank you all for being there for each chapter.  If you want more of my Kurama x Botan stories, you can read my other one I've been working on: My Assassin, My Dark Angel

**=^.^= ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ =^.^=**

~~EPILOGUE~~ 

I sat at the computer typing furiously to finish my advice section in the newspaper.  It was called 'Ask Suichi'.  All my friends had laughed at the irony of my advice section.  I had far too many thoughts for my own good yet I gave humans answers to their problems.  I simply brushed my comrades' criticism aside and continued to do what I was best at.

  I stopped and reread my work.  It would do.  I saved it and e-mailed it to send to the publisher.  I turned around in the chair and faced Botan who beamed down at me.

"You're getting old," I teased her. " I can see the wrinkles behind your smile."

Botan's eyes widened and felt her flawless face.  Naturally, it was only a joke. "No one can be good-looking forever," she said in a small voice.

I offered her a smile.

"Except you," she added.  She continued to touch her face.  "Do I…really have wrinkles?"

"No, my dear, your face is still as lovely as it was ten years ago," I said, which was true.  Her face was unflawed by anything that bothered human age.  I was now 26 and counting.  My features hadn't changed a bit.  My hair had grown a bit longer in the past, but I kept it trimmed to my original length.

"Kurama, will you _ever_ cut your hair to make you look normal?  I get such weird looks from all the human boys.  They must think I'm married to a girl or something," she complained in an effort to get revenge for my remark.

"Someday I may, but since I still train, I still need a place to hide my rose for my rosewhip."  I stood up and kissed her tenderly.  "Now lets see if Hiei has killed our daughter yet."

"If she even has a tiny scratch on her, I'm going to strangle that demon!" Botan steamed.  "It would be all your fault if she's half dead right now!"

I smiled dryly.  "Now now, there's no need for violence.  Hiei wouldn't loose control on a child.  I'm sure Yumeko can handle it.  She has both your and my genes."  I had allowed Hiei to train Yumeko during the summer break.  As a child she had been manipulating the grass outside of our house to create a chaotic forest of weeds.  To keep her mind from creating more of a mess, I had allowed Hiei to train her during the times Botan and I were busy.

Hiei didn't consider the 'training' as a form of babysitting.  He found it all quite amusing, which suited me just fine…as long as Yumeko didn't pull the hairpin trigger that Hiei's temper rested on.  That was my prime concern.  Obviously it was Botan's as well.

"Hiei!" Botan cried out in the forest we had last seen Hiei.  "Bring my daughter out this second!"

There was an immense blast of heat and light.  My nose was filled with the smell of burned wood and grass.  The smoke cleared.  There was a large area of charred remains.

Botan gripped my arm.  "Please tell me that the fire wasn't from Hiei attacking Yumeko."

I swallowed back the lump in my throat.  I couldn't answer her.  "I doubt that Hiei would do such a thing to her," I said reassuringly.

She didn't seem to listen to the words I had said.  "I hope that those burned things are trees and not Yumeko…"

"Feh, I wouldn't attack your daughter, ferry girl.  I respect her for being able to withstand what she has in the past few hours.  She's lasted far longer than half the demons I've faced in the past.  Kudos to your child," Hiei said, stepping out from behind a tree.  Most of his sleeveless shirt had been burned.  Only fragments of the cloth hung on his body.  He brushed them off casually as if charred clothing was nothing new to him—which it wasn't.

He met my gaze easily.  "Yes, it was your daughter that did this to me."  His eyes moved to catch Botan's incredulous gaze.  "Are you sure you didn't catch me on an off day?  Or perhaps that day you knocked me unconscious out of the tree, you conceived this child without my knowing?"

I smirked at Hiei's insinuation.  It was a joke.  It was rare for the child of a Spirit Fox—me—and the child of a Reikai worker—Botan—to conceive a child with both firepowers and the ability to manipulate plants. Yumeko was the only person I have known to be able to do such things with an immense amount of Reiki at her age.

Botan's amethyst eyes narrowed.  "No, this is Kurama's child.  _Kur—a—ma!"_ she snapped.

"Hn.  You don't need to cop an attitude with me, woman.  I was actually complementing your daughter," Hiei said with his usual passive face.  Yumeko popped beside him with a proud look on her lovely face.  Hiei patted her between her kitsune ears gently.  "Her fire abilities were much better than mine when I was her age.  Of course I didn't have someone as wonderful as me to train her abilities."

I smiled at his remark.  Hiei had a dry sense of humor, but it was a relief to know he was complementing Yumeko.  His complements were rare to _anyone_.

"So fox, how is it that your child is able to manipulate her Reiki into a flame form as well as manipulate weeds into weapons?"

Yumeko grinned meekly and quickly hid a rose behind her back.  She avoided my gaze.  She knew that Botan and I had restricted her from playing with plants unless I was there to guide her curiosity.  I didn't want her to accidentally strangle herself as I had once done over a hundred years ago.  I had survived it, but the memory was still vivid in my mind…or at least Youko's.

"In my blood-lines there was a fire demon somewhere," Botan said angrily.  "That doesn't give you the right to let her barbeque you!"

"Mother, I didn't barbeque Hiei.  It would take a lot more than that to take him down.  Right?"  Yumeko looked up at Hiei imploringly.

"You can bet your ass on that, little one."

Yumeko looked at me with a pleased smile.  Her kitsune ears twitched with pleasure.  "See Father? Hiei was just training me.  You don't have time to help me so Hiei does it for you."

Botan looked enraged.  "Hiei!  You can't use that language in front of her!"

"The society is full of flaws!  You can't hide her from every imperfection!"

I hid my pained expression.  It was enough to have Botan in a hot temper but she was arguing with Hiei—both of them had the stubborn mind of a mule.  The two of them arguing was enough to send the most patient man on Earth insane.  

 "Yumeko, I only allow you to train with Hiei so your mind wouldn't become like that of an idle human child.  I can't watch you every second and neither can your mother.  Hiei here has time to kill," I interrupted.

Hiei gave me a look.  "Just because I spend most of my time training doesn't mean I have time to baby-sit.  It just so happens that your child strikes my interest therefore I stay and help her."

I held my hand out to motion for Yumeko to come towards me.  "Yumeko, later today I can help you put that rose into use.  Maybe you should pick a flower that you are partial to so you can put your heart into training.  What do you say?"

Her glowing face was enough of an answer.  "That would be wonderful, Father!  Every since I've seen you fight with the rosewhip I wanted to know how to do the same," she exclaimed.  Her vocabulary was impeccable for ten years of age.  It must have come from Youko's side of me.  I, too, spoke strangely.  Luckily for me, this gave the human beings—especially my human mother—the idea that she was a genius.  The unfortunate side to this was that it drew attention to her.

Hiei wore a casual smirk on his face as he watched Yumeko dash towards me and hug me around my middle.  I studied the smirk thoughtfully.  Was that jealousy I saw hidden?  I pushed the thought away and returned the hug awkwardly.

"Father, when will I be able to hide my ugly ears and have normal ones?" Yumeko asked with her child-like innocence.

"Your ears aren't ugly," Botan replied quickly.  "Your father had them.  I find them attractive."

I nodded in agreement.  "When you're able to control your Spirit Energy correctly, I'll help you do something about it.  It will, of course, change the way you look.  When you acquire a human form, your looks will change entirely."

She smiled cheerfully.  "Yes, Father."  She turned to face Hiei.  "Will you be able to train me tomorrow too?"

Hiei gave me the merest half glance before answering, "Yes.  As long as I don't have anything more important to do."

"Really, you're going to end up spoiling our child," Botan said in a 'don't-toy-with-me' tone.

"My dear, she won't be spoiled.  I know the borderline," I said.  How strange this woman was.  She wanted the best for our child yet she disapproved of Hiei and I giving it to her.  It was mind numbing but it made me love her even more…if that was possible.  I took her chin in my hand and planted a chaste kiss on her soft lips.  "Trust me, will you?" I added silently.

Yumeko's nose wrinkled in disgust.  "Mother, Father, please don't do that in my presence.  My eyes may melt," she said quietly.

I laughed at her childish tone mixed with the well-articulated words.  "Perhaps you deserve it if you don't obey your mother and I better than you've been doing lately," I teased.  I kissed Botan again, purposely.  Botan giggled at Yumeko's response.

"No!  Stop!" Yumeko squeezed her eyes closed and dashed blindly into Hiei, looking for sanctuary from what she thought was 'disgusting'.  "Do something, Hiei!" she moaned.

Hiei chortled and lifted her up, taking her into his arms.  "You're overacting.  Someday you'll find some worthless male and kiss him as your parents are doing."

"_Gross_!  I'd _never_ do that!" Yumeko exclaimed.

We all laughed at that.  Yes, the life I lead was enjoyable.  I never knew what fate would throw in my face.  Just think, not to long ago, I wanted to die to keep from suffering what I have.  Suffering shows that one has felt something truly happy to know what pain is like.  Now, I wanted to live life to the fullest, even if it meant I was to have my heart broken.

I gazed at Botan.  She would die before me.  Spending her time as a human when she was supposed to live an immortal life in Reikai shortened her lifespan.  She would have to return to Reikai for long periods of time to keep her alive, but even so, she would be gone before me.  There _could_ be other women in my life, but none would be able to understand my weaknesses as Botan had.

I was suddenly aware that Botan was staring at me.  "What?  Is there something on my face?" she asked.

I shook my head.  "No, I was thinking.  My head was momentarily lost in the clouds," I replied easily.  I wrapped my arms around her, savoring her sweet scent.  I mentally shook my head.  I won't think of those times now.  Now was the time to enjoy what Kamisama had allowed me to have even though I had done so much wrong in the past.  I had Botan and Yumeko to keep me company.  I had friend as well, Hiei being one of them.  Wasn't that enough for me?

I frowned and watched as Hiei levitated Yumeko in the air and spun her around.  Yumeko shrieked with glee.   Botan quickly detached herself from me to shout at him.  

"Botan, you can't be too strict on her.  I agree, this is our first child, but Yumeko is half-demon.  She will have risks in her life.  Hiei is nothing compared to what she may face," I said gently.

"But what if he kills her!  She might do something to tick him off! Hiei will go berserk!" Botan insisted, gripping me tightly around my waist.

"She won't piss me off no matter what she does.  I'm not as dark as you think I am," Hiei retorted.

This led the two of them into another argument with me stranded in the middle again.  I sighed and smiled. 

 Yes, they were enough for me.  Anything more than my friends and family would kill me. **=^.^=**

**            ~*~End~*~**

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Told you it would be shorter!  Sorry it wasn't interesting.  I was going to kill Kuwabara so it would be a completely happy ending.  You know, Kurama gets the girl and Kuwabara dies…* sigh * I didn't, though, because I didn't know how to work it in without it getting pointless.

**So, you know the drill, review, review and review!  As I've said, I have another Kurama x Botan fic out so if you're interested, you can read that!  I appreciate each and every one of your reviews!  Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my mindless dribble that I have manipulated into a fanfic. * holds out big basket of YYH plushies * Here ya go!  Adorable plushies to everyone who has reviewed and/or will review!**


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